just jen

FREE Kindle download--deployed spouses book!

2012-01-24T05:34:00.000-08:00

Please pass it on to any military spouses you know! TODAY ONLY, the Kindle version of the book Fighting Fear:Winning the War at Home When Your Solider Leaves for Battle is FREE for download!

I was blessed to be a part of this project, and wrote a story that is included in this book. Check it out, and please please pass it on!

Monday thought

2012-01-09T11:13:00.000-08:00

Almost always inspired by anything I read from C.S. Lewis. Great words for a Monday:

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Arlington

2012-01-01T08:13:00.000-08:00

Most of my household is still asleep this New Year's morning--my boys were able to go to NYC for New Year's Eve, and my girls had fun with friends before coming home with us, and they are apparently all worn out from the festivities!

At any rate, I have some quiet here to go back over photos and remember some of the sights we've seen here in D.C. since we got here in September. It's hard to believe that last year at this time, I was sitting in my home by Pearl Harbor. Such an amazing place with so much history. And now, here we are, on the banks of the Potomac. More history. I know our time here will be short, so we are trying to take as much in as we can.

One of the places I've so wanted to visit was Arlington National Cemetery. Last week, with my in-laws in town, we made the trip out there, and braved the cold wind to see the cemetery. (most photos courtesy of my daughter)

Rows upon rows of tombstones...each of them someone's father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter...

They each have a name...

The Tomb of the Unknowns was a quiet, sobering place. What a good spot to ponder the sacrifice of those who gave all.

We got there at the top of the hour and witnessed the impressive changing of the guard: (my fuzzy phone photo)

So proud to be an American. It is impressive what the guards have to go through to qualify to guard the Tomb of the Unknowns. They are everything that is right about America.

Walking back to the car, my husband and me, his mom and her sweet husband. A full, rich day, indeed.

guilt-free Christmas

2011-12-15T09:17:00.000-08:00

I love this post (supposedly by Andy Rooney) about womenover 40. Especially this:

"A woman over forty knows herself well enough to beassured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few womenpast the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’sdoing."

Agreed! It seems I spent a good deal of my 20s and 30sworried about checking off boxes, making sure I did things 'correctly', hoping I wasn't disappointing anyone, ensuring that everyone one else was happy.

Guiltguiltguiltguiltguilt...

It's not that I don't care now, it's justthat I've come to realize that I can't please everyone, and that the people right here with me are the ones whose opinions matter most.

The holiday season can turn into a stressful time for women,especially moms. I don't care if you stay home or have an outside job, womenare the ones who seem to feel the pressure to make sure everyone else is happy during theholidays (when's the last time you read an article written by a DAD saying he can'ttake the stress of the holiday season?).

I remember earlier in our married years, putting together Christmas dinner by myself, ending up being completely exhausted and not enjoying the day at all. It dawned on me later that here I was, trying to replicate a dinner from my childhood that took my mom and both grandmothers and sometimes an aunt or two to accomplish! No wonder I was tired!

It was then that I realized store-bought rolls and pie crusts are really a gift. :)

So, I am letting myself off the hook a bit and making the holidays a little easier, so I can enjoy them more. I compared notes with my husband, who is letting himself off the hook too, and is all about simplifying a bit, as well.

Things I'm doing this holiday season:

Sit more--putter less: this is hard for me. I often have to remind myself of the saying, "You're a human being, not a human doing." Still, sitting and relaxing doesn't come easy to me. But I am determined. There are lots of Christmas movies to be watched, coffee to be drunk, and moments to be enjoyed with our oldest who will be home from college for a month.
Watch my children make gingerbread houses. They did a great job. And in case this makes you feel guilty at all for not making gingerbread, let me tell you that these were made from a kit. Still, they had loads of fun!

Bring store-bought goodies to the kids' Christmas parties. I honestly don't think my kids or their friends care if it's made from scratch or not. A bag of chips or a container of sugar cookies will do just fine.
Baking with my family...all of THEIR favorite things.
Online shopping as much as possible. I would like to avoid the crowds and traffic, if I can.

Things I'm NOT doing:

Sending Christmas cards. *Gasp!* Save to a few elderly relatives. Otherwise, 99% of the people I want to keep in touch with are already updated on my Facebook or email. So there will be no newsletter update or photos going out this year.
Going to holiday parties I don't feel like going to: Yup, I'm not.
Feeling guilty about any of the above: I'm letting myself off the hook!

Happy Holidays!

Advent...a season of waiting

2011-12-06T06:11:00.001-08:00

I wrote a small piece for the "Wives In Bloom" e-zine this month: Advent--A Season of Waiting. This time of year can be so difficult for those who are in transition, and for those with deployed spouses. One of our hardest Christmases was one right before Steve deployed to Iraq. It was nearly impossible to truly enjoy it, feeling the dread of him leaving, and knowing that we would be in the midst of good-byes in a matter of days.

So my heart goes out to all the waiting spouses this year. My prayers are with you!

temporary home

2011-12-02T05:13:00.001-08:00

I was snubbed again by a “local” person last night, when Iattempted to strike up a conversation while waiting at my daughter’s danceclass. Just no response— other than a stare like I must be out of my mind or perhaps had twoheads, then looking away. I felt about 5years old.

It’s happened here several times now, so I know it’s not myimagination. I’m not really sure whatthe deal is, either. They talk to each other. Just not to me. They’re wrappedup in their own lives—don’t like military---don’t care? I don’t know.

Localpeople don’t get it. I guess there’s noway they can. Once upon a time, I was a “local”, and I didn’t get it either.

I grew up in amilitary community, yet I honestly had no clue about what military familieswent through. People would move in and out of our town. Some of them became myclosest friends. But overall, there was something different about them all. Thosemilitary kids had an….air about them, for lack of a better word. In some sense,disconnected from our small town doings. Perhaps their styles were a bitdifferent, or they didn’t seem as wrapped up in their peers’ opinions as I andmy teen-aged friends were. There was an other-worldiness about their attitude.

Now I get it. We dohave a unique perspective from starting over every couple of years, and have a biggerview of the world, I suppose.

But even after living this military life for 23 years, I stillcan’t swallow past that big lump in my throat when I think about friends and placesthat I miss. I know what it feels like to constantly be new, to feel alone in aroom full of people. To wonder…Will Imake a friend here? Or will this be a duty station I just get through? Toknow that paralyzing insecurity and loneliness. To trust that it will getbetter, like it always has….but that for right now, at this moment, it just really reallysucks. To wish I could gather up all of my wonderful friends from around theworld, and fill up a room with them and sit. And visit.

With no goodbyes.

That would be the best.

I wish I could go back to some of those military familiesfrom when I was growing up, and work on being a little more welcoming, or just makesure I say “hello”. To look them in the eyes, and give them the time of day.

I’m sorry. I had no idea how hard this was for you.

But for now…

This is my temporaryhome

It's not where Ibelong

Windows and rooms

ThatI'm passin' through

This is just a stop

On the way to where I'm going

I'm not afraid

BecauseI know

This is my

Temporary home

(Temporary Home, by Carrie Underwood)

just us

2011-11-27T12:07:00.001-08:00

Kind of a late Thanksgiving post, but for us, it was a quiet one. Good, but quiet. It was just Steve and me and the younger three (hey, that rhymed!), as Matt went to a college friend's for the holiday, we've only been here 2 months and don't have loads of friends yet, and we hadn't planned any sort of extended family coming or going. It occurred to us that it's literally been years since it was "just us", but sometimes "just us" is good. We ate lots of food, played board games, watched movies, and stayed up way too late laughing.

Reflecting back on this past year, I am thankful for God's hand, as always. Another move behind us (and one I think my mind still hasn't fully embraced--this transfer from Hawaii to D.C.), but Steve is with us this year and not deployed or traveling for work, which is not always the case. We survived another PCS, another child graduating from high school. I don't always understand what God is doing, but I believe these words we put above our door in our new house:

We continue our exploration of downtown Washington, D.C. It's been nice to take our time. This past weekend saw us picking back up at the WWII and Vietnam Memorials, and then part of the Museum of American History.

I knew I'd cry at the Vietnam Wall. Seeing family members and vets take rubbings of the names of those they lost, and turn away crying, just was more than I could bear. I am such a sympathy crier anyway, but this hits pretty close to home. I wish I could give them all a hug. I hope they know how grateful we are.

(me and my younger three reflected in the Vietnam wall)

When we got to the museum of American history, I made a beeline for the Julia Child kitchen.

How fun is this? My nearly 6 foot daughter thinks the raised counters are a great idea!

(really bad photo taken through the glass with my phone, but how much do you love this kitchen??)

I remember watching her shows on PBS when I was young, sprawled out on the floor of our living room. There was something about listening to her voice and watching her do her 'thang'. She was so funny and had such a zest for life! I loved how she would throw back her head and belly laugh. When the move Julie and Julia came out, it renewed my interest in her, and I bought several of her books. One of the things that struck me was how devoted she and her husband were to each other until the ends of their lives. SUCH a sweet story. I love Julia. So glad I 'found' her and got to visit for a little bit.

Words to live by, these:

I love you, you love me...

2011-11-16T14:17:00.001-08:00

"I love you, you love me..."

I heard the Barney song repeatedly when my kids were younger. Daily for awhile. Ad infinitum, ad nauseam.
A goofy purple dinosaur singing about love. Hmm...

Years and years have passed now. Kids have grown up, family members have passed ahead of us on to heaven, life has changed in ways I couldn't have imagined, and in some ways probably would not have thought I could survive.

"We're a happy family..."

We've never pretended to be perfect. Our kids know well our faults. We fight, we make up, we cry, we love, we work hard, we play games...we all know each others' weaknesses and strengths, can sometimes be unthinking, other times kind-- but in the end, love each other deeply. I'm thankful for the stick-to-itiveness we've managed to show. I hope when our kids are older, the one thing they will remember is the love.

"With a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you..."

Life is messy. That's a well-worn phrase, but true. Life IS messy, if we love hard and live long enough. As much as I'd like things arranged into neat little compartments, that isn't the way it goes. Life can be a funny old thing. But it's amazing how much a little kiss and a hug can help.

"Won't you say you love me, too?"

And isn't that the most important thing, after all? Love. I think Barney may have been pretty smart.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

And now, these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

(photos courtesy of my daughter, Grace... taken at Ft. Washington)

new review site

2011-11-01T12:08:00.000-07:00

So excited to be a part of this. Please check it out--revolutionary new review site for the homeschool community! Home Educating Association reviews !

homeschooling, the early years

2011-10-28T05:32:00.000-07:00

It's always fun for me to talk with younger homeschooling moms. Since my 'baby' is 13, the days when I was juggling teaching a 6-year-old to read with the needs of toddlers and babies can be a bit of a distant memory. Now, I am in the middle of maintaining high school transcripts, finishing middle school with my youngest, and helping my older children with their college lives and paperwork (the job doesn't end just because they 'graduate'!).

So it's a different season for me. But, oh, how sweet the memories of life with preschoolers and young learners! I'm trying not to be too rose-colored-glasses about it, because I do also remember the exhaustion level!

There are so many good resources out there, almost too many now, and it can be overwhelming. Back when we started in the mid-90s, I had more time than money, and less access to materials. Which in retrospect, was probably a good thing for someone as distractable as myself. I think names like Raymond and Dorothy Moore may not ring a bell for many homeschooling parents these days. But words like these were what my young mother's heart needed at the time:

"...if you are loving and can read, write, count, and speak clearly, you are a master teacher." (Moore Foundation)

I was also armed with simple materials like Sam Blumenfeld's Alpha Phonics and had the confidence that I was capable of teaching my young ones to read!

We successfully used this book with all four of our children. We also were blessed to discover the Five in a Row program, which we used for years. We have wonderful memories of those days, reading lots of children's classic picture books on which the lessons are based. Check it out if you have kids in the 4-8 year old age group. Each day's lessons (language arts, social studies, science, and math) are based on the book being read, classics like Madeline and Make Way for Ducklings. My kids still remember those books!

Other favorite resources were:
Modern Curriculum Press Phonics series (skip the pricey teacher's guides)
A Reason for Handwriting
A Beka math (for K-3--their math for the lower grades is colorful and appealing and has lots of white space.)

And lots and lots of games like Tangrams and file folder games. This site gives a good visual of what file folder games look like once you put them together. What a fun, painless way for kids to drill math, phonics, and other facts. My kids would pull these off the shelves to use on their own, which is always a good sign!

We read a lot and talked a lot and played games and went to the library and spent loads of time outdoors. Things didn't always go smoothly, but that is reality for life with young ones! Still, we normally finished our 'schooling' time in a couple of hours per day, which lent itself well to pursuing other interests.

I will share more about other resources, as they come to mind!

"Find Your Thing"

2011-10-13T21:33:00.000-07:00

Weight Watchers ~~week~~ month 10!

I haven't talked about WW for awhile, not for months in fact. I'm sure there's some part of me that is worried I'll jinx it by discussing it too much, which is silly. And I also know that if you have never struggled with weight issues, talking about it seems boring and self-centered, so feel free to pass on by this post.

That said, I'm thrilled to have lost nearly 40 lbs since I began back in January, and am still losing the last few, at a very slow rate. This is so much more than a program, it's a reasonable way of looking at food, exercise, and body issues, and it works!

In many ways, I've gotten used to the new me, though not completely. Fitting into smaller sizes is a lot of fun, and I still sometimes don't recognize myself when I catch a glimpse passing a mirror or big window. I've conquered a lot of old habits, have a greater understanding of why I have struggled so this past decade, and have learned to take better care of myself in ways other than with food.

But there's still a lot of work to do. I realized this week that, mentally speaking, I have a loooong way to go. I faced this move with a bit of trepidation since in the past, a big change like a move or deployment (and these have been yearly events for me over the past 8-9 years) usually brings along with it a bit of a weight gain. So I was very mindful of that this time.

Our last shipment of household goods just arrived from Hawaii after packing out our house 2 months ago, including our bathroom scale. Smart me decided to hop on and check my weight real quick, even though I knew I had lost some more weight because my clothes are looser and I'm down another size in jeans.

The blippin' thing said I had gained. GAINED. I stepped on and off repeatedly in a slight panic, and it was UP anywhere from 10-20 lbs.

Did I stop to think it could have been jiggled around or messed up by being toted across the Pacific Ocean and entire U.S.? Or that it needed to be reset or have batteries replaced? Or that it was completely unreasonable to think I could have gained that much weight and somehow not noticed it in how my clothing fit?

No. Instead, I berated myself for awhile, thinking things like, "This is what you get for not weighing in so long!" (as if something magical happens when you weigh every day) or "You shouldn't have had those cookies!!"

Yes, it seems ridiculous now. And I got it all figured out, scale fixed and compared to the one at the gym, and I am actually down a few more lbs. But it's amazing how easily that 'switch' in my brain is flipped and I am back to old thinking, old patterns. Sigh..still a work in progress, in so many ways.

But let me end on a light note. My kids pointed out this commercial to me and I love it! So me. My best advice to anyone wanting to get more active is the same message in this Kaiser Permanente commercial...."Find Your Thing."

You don't need special equipment, complicated classes, or a trainer to get in better shape (though if you like those sorts of things, by all means, go for it!) For many years now, most days find me putting on my walking shoes and taking a 30-45 minute walk, regardless of the weather. It's doable for me, and I enjoy it. Some days I add in weight training or pushups/situps, but the main part of my "workout" since I was about 20 yrs old has been just... walking. Plus, I can see myself still taking walks when I'm 75 years old, the pole dancing or Zumba classes...not so much. ;)

decorating military housing

2011-10-11T04:02:00.000-07:00

One thing about living in military housing is that it can be a challenge to make the space your *own*. There are definite limits on what you're allowed to do, and of course each house is so different, it's nearly impossible to attempt the same thing twice. But working within those parameters, you really can make even base housing a home.

We have lived in housing as old as WW2 (with, I think, the original appliances, haha) to brand new housing in which we were the first tenants. So I have quite the collection of curtains, drapes, shower curtains, etc. because I just never know what I can use again. In fact, my husband asked me as we were moving into this house, do I really need more? Looking at my 110" curtains that only fit in Germany (ceiling mounted curtain tracks) to the mish-mash of curtains I've used for tiny windows, large windows, and strange-sized windows, my answer was...YES. :)

Having lived in a different house every year now since 2005, and I think at last count a total of at least 16 houses in our 23 years of marriage, it can seem like a wasted effort trying to get things "just so", or decorating again. BUT, I remind myself that this is my family's home, regardless of how short a time it will be, and I just can't let myself not try to make it homey. This time, the girls begged us to let them paint their rooms. Now, when we leave, we have to put it exactly back to how it was when we got here (read: boring eggshell white), so this dark purple may not have been the the best idea. Ask me next year.

(more mobile phone photos. I need a new SD card!!)
And you can see that Dad directed the entire operation. Doesn't he look thrilled to be spending the day awash in purple and aqua?

Here are some more good ideas for decorating military housing.

exploring D.C.

2011-10-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

We're still in the middle of unpacking boxes here, but we've made the time to go to downtown D.C. a couple of times, if only to remind ourselves what a really cool place we live now. Steve has been here many times before, but it's all new to the rest of us, so it's been amazing! We've only scratched the surface, monument- and museum-wise, but it's been a fun start.

The photo quality is not great, as my SD card on my camera pooped out, and these were all taken from my mobile phone, but it's all I've got for now.

The Capitol building at night, gorgeous!

At the Smithsonian Museum of American History, by the First Ladies' Exhibit (this is also the point we lost the males in our group!) They had me at the case of purses and shoes...

Laura Bush's and Martha Washington's inaugural ball gowns. That whole exhibit was fascinating and the girls and I could have stayed in there for hours. It was so interesting to see how fashion has changed through the years, and also to see the differences in heights and sizes of the various first ladies.

We walked through one small part of the National Gallery of Art. The girls recognized so many of the paintings/artists from our art history studies. This Picasso is on the front cover of our Sister Wendy art book and we all immediately recognized it (Sister Wendy Beckett is the best for art history,by the way!)

So much more to do, so much more to see!

Fighting Fear, Winning the War at Home book!

2011-10-01T13:11:00.000-07:00

Am so honored to be a contributor to this book!

Fighting Fear, Winning the War at Home: When Your Soldier Leaves for Battle, compiled by Edie Melson will (hopefully!) be released on Veterans Day, 11-11-11.

Look for it! More info to come!

Online homeschool convention and giveaway!

2011-09-30T05:22:00.000-07:00

What’s all the fuss about? HomeschoolConvention.com is giving a sneak peak of their new site and it’s a party!

Enter to win: $56,000 in prizes from Veggie Tales, JM Cremps, AIG, Rosetta Stone, Bright Ideas Press, Writeshop, MathUSee, Grace and Truth Books, Familyman Ministries, YWAM, Trivium Pursuit, Christian Logic, Lamplighter, Diana Waring, Geography Matters, Shepherd Press, Great Products and HSLDA
HOME SCHOOL CONVENTION

looking back...looking ahead

2011-09-22T05:44:00.000-07:00

I’ve been taken by surprise by how hard this move has been for me. After all, we’ve been doing this for awhile now-- this is Steve’s 11th military assignment. That’s what I get for ever thinking I know what I’m doing.

God, is it true that you're thinkin' of me at this moment?
God, is it true that you hear every prayer that I pray?
God, is it true every time my heart beats, you know it?
Well, if it's all true, then that must be you I hear saying, "Trust Me.”

I’m reminding myself of my own words about being flexible and open during times of stress and change, but I’ve not been doing a very good job of it so far. Frankly, I have been downright upset about leaving a place I love, and I’m tired and heartsick and jetlagged…and I’ve been a colossal poot.

I’m pretty sure I owe everyone in my family an apology.

During this trip, it seems like Murphy’s Law has reigned…everything that could go wrong, did. Missed and delayed flights, mix-ups with the shuttle driver that ended up with me and the children and our 10 pieces of luggage being deposited on the sidewalk in front of our new base, like so many refugees, while we waited for Steve who was stuck behind us in traffic in the rental car. Only a small sized hotel room being available for all 5 of us adult-sized people, then that room infested with mice, so we had to move to another (small) room. It has all had a sense of the ridiculous, like this couldn’t be real.

And I swear the people that are in the room above us are clog-dancing at 11 p.m.

I dreamed the other night that I was swimming in a bright blue ocean, with the warm sun shining down on me, and then I awoke to a grey, overcast day here in D.C.

I cried.

God, is it true out of all things you're doing on this planet,
Could it really be true that you've counted the hairs on my head?
God, is it true, every day of my life, you have planned it?
Well, if it's all true, then that must be you I hear saying, "Trust Me."

I don’t know that I can move forward without looking back a little bit, and allowing myself to be sad for what we are losing…sweet friends, a wonderful church, not to mention how much in love I fell with Hawaii and its people. I hate seeing my kids upset about leaving their sweet friends and community.

So I will miss it all…not just the warmth of the weather, but the warmth of the people. I will miss the young ones calling me “auntie” even when they don’t know me. The respectfulness. Being greeted with a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

I miss hugs.

I will miss the beautiful harmonies of the Hawaiian men’s group at our church. And the hula dancers. And the rice and the pulled pork and the pineapple. And my pineapple wine. And seeing the big sea turtles and fish in the water. And the sunsets behind my beautiful home in Pearl Harbor and the mountains. And my amazing neighbors.

And I will miss the sun.

I’ve wanted to roll myself in a ball under the covers, and hide and cry, but I don’t have the luxury to stay there. I've wanted to wrap myself in anger like a cloak, but who am I angry with? The Air Force? Steve? God? All the above?

Kids need schooling, our second son needs help enrolling in college, orthodontists and churches and housing need to be found. That is probably a saving grace, I’m sure, this business of everyday life.

I’ve tried to do some positive self-talk. Self, I say, you are being a big fat baby. Buck up! You had a year in paradise, and now you get to live in our nation’s capitol. How many people get to do that? (and is it capital? or capitol? That’s another argument I’ve been having with myself)

But I don’t listen to me very well.

Trust Me, Trust Me
I'll never leave you
I'll never forsake you
Just trust me

I will get there. I know that…this too shall pass. We will explore here and find our place, and it will be good. But for now….

Aloha, beautiful Hawaii. I will miss you.

(lyrics from God Is It True by Steven Curtis Chapman)

Wives in Bloom article

2011-09-20T08:25:00.000-07:00

My story The Purple Wig: Spicing up Deployment Doldrums is the headline story for Wives in Bloom website. Please go read! And leave comments!! :)

some great military spouse links

2011-09-12T03:02:00.000-07:00

"Moving can be the perfect opportunity to consciously begin the next chapter of your life. When we move, there is a looking forward and a looking back that happens.It can be the perfect time to stop and consider what you’ve done with your life so far and what you want for the future."
(from MilSpouse.com, "Your Next Chapter" by Melissa Rayworth)

I've been doing a bit of military-specific writing lately, and have come across some gems like the above that I'd like to share. Since I am a "seasoned spouse" (ahem), I sometimes take for granted the info that spouses newer to the military may not be familiar with, so it's a good reminder for me too. I am planning several posts with information for our newbies, so look for it! Also, I would love to hear from YOU what information you would like to see, sites you recommend, or anything else!

Here's a very well-organized site (though the type is pretty small for my ancient eyes), Military Wives, with information about moving, protocol, space A travel, rank information, and more.
Also, there is service specific info for each branch. Here is a link to a thread about Air Force Protocol. Ever wondered what to wear to what function, which fork to use? All covered here, along with customs and courtesies and much more: Air Force Protocol

I LOVE THIS--how about awarding a medal to a military child? Awesome! They also have medals and certificates for parents and spouses.

MilSpouse is a another good one. It's easy to become a member and have access to all the latest news pertaining to the life of a military spouse, and archives of articles covering deployment, family life, employment, etc. There are lots of personal stories that can remind you that you are NOT alone!

Military One Source has loads of information. I know when we first got married, I had a very marketable skill--nursing--and it was not difficult to find a job when we moved (though I have since opted to be an at-home mom). Yet I know a challenge for many military wives is finding employment, or trying to career build while moving. The Spouse Career Center is another great resource, including opportunities for training and career counseling.

More later!

I'm on Crosswalk! and other linky love

2011-09-09T13:06:00.000-07:00

I realized, quite by accident yesterday, that an article I wrote for Home School Enrichment magazine was picked up recently by Crosswalk.com. I'm pretty excited, since I've read that website for years. Please check it out!!The Hidden Blessings of Military Homeschooling.

Also, I wanted to give credit for my new header! My dear friend at Starry Sky Photography took a stock photo and turned it into exactly the blog header I wanted. She's amazing! Also, she's got lots of good stuff at her blog Starry Sky Ranch.

Happy Friday!

formalwear on a budget

2011-09-06T03:42:00.000-07:00

The Air Force Ball here is right around the corner, which means many wives (sorry, military spouse guys, I just don't think you have the same angst over which suit to wear!) are now scrambling to find THE dress. The longer you're affiliated with the military, the more 'events' you'll go to. I have a few standbys that I rotate depending on the event, but the AF Ball is truly that ONE yearly do that deserves a special dress! (We won't get to go this year, as we'll be en route to a new assignment)

For many young wives who want to attend a formal event like this, it can be a daunting task to find something appropriate and affordable.

Let me digress and talk appropriate for just a quick sec. When I've been to protocol briefings, they always give us the "do's and don'ts" of formal dressing, including length for the occasion, etc. and ask us to please pass on the info to our young spouses. One of the biggest tips they stress is to avoid dresses that are cut down to THERE or up to HERE... and I know you know what I mean. It's probably what your mama told you, so listen to this mama. It's not the time nor place for that, when your husband's boss is sitting across the table from you. Please save the overly sexy dress for something else!

Affordable...so many bases have thrift stores, and a lot of wives are surprised to hear you can find everything from dresses to glittery, strappy sandals there. So go have a look before you spend a wad! Some base thrift shops even set up what they call a "Cinderella's Closet" this time of year, showcasing some of the formal wear along with matching purses, shoes, wraps. Also don't neglect your local consignment stores. There are lots of treasures there, and you won't feel so bad about buying something you may only wear once.

You'd be surprised at some of the deals you can get at large department stores. I found a lovely gown at Nordstrom's for 1/3 its original price. Along with that, they threw in free alterations, since it was the only one they had in my size, and it needed a bit of taking in. So, check the sales racks! You never know what you might find.

Online retailers such as JCPenney.com, Coldwater Creek, Zappos, and even Amazon can have some amazing deals, if you have time enough for mail-order. Check their 'evening wear' section under 'dresses' to filter out what you need.

Borrow! Have a 'dress exchange' with your friends. At one base we were stationed, some ladies sponsored a dress exchange...they made sure several of each size were represented and all met together one evening to have dinner, talk, and swap. Fun! The deal was you let someone borrow (or keep, if you were tired of it!) your gown, you borrowed theirs. Worked beautifully. Another time I was so desperate to find something, my sweet sister-in-law mailed me a gown of hers to borrow.

Get creative, and don't avoid military formal events because you don't have anything to wear. The pomp, ceremony, traditions, and fun are something you should experience a few times! I know it gives me a new appreciation for military traditions, each time I go.

traveling light

2011-09-04T00:22:00.000-07:00

As I'm packing suitcases, found this great site called One Bag Girl--Traveling Light. I don't have it down to one bag yet, but I'm learning to travel lighter than I used to! Love the 'bundling' idea!

getting along

2011-09-02T02:32:00.000-07:00

In the midst of saying goodbyes here, as we leave Hawaii soon. Tonight, I had such a nice farewell from some of the AWESOME spouses on this base. They work so well together...are so kind and smart and enthusiastic, that it gives me great great hope for the future of our Air Force. A couple of us were talking about previous problems with other clubs and places, and even a few of the issues we've had here. It mystifies us why some people seem to take some sort of sick joy in being offended, and go through life with a 'cup half empty' mentality. It reminded me of this writing by Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten.

Good words, these...

All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.

ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW about how to live and what to do

and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not

at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the

sandpile at Sunday School.

These are the things I learned:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don't hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don't take things that aren't yours.

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life - learn some and think some

and draw and paint and sing and dance and play

and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,

hold hands, and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.

Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup:

The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody

really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even

the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die.

So do we.

And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books

and the first word you learned - the biggest

word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.

The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.

Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any of those items and extrapolate it into

sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your

family life or your work or your government or

your world and it holds true and clear and firm.

Think what a better world it would be if

all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about

three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with

our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments

had a basic policy to always put thing back where

they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you

are - when you go out into the world, it is best

to hold hands and stick together.

contentment

2011-08-31T16:56:00.000-07:00

Another 'blast from the past' as I clean up old files...this one from March, 2004. Funny how life repeats itself! We are heading back to the U.S. mainland after 3 years away in Germany and Hawaii, this time....

The scenario is familiar to many military families. Our boxes are packed, and we are moving on again in a matter of weeks. This time, we are heading back to the US after being overseas for 2 years. Our major household goods were shipped out last week except for a few items left back to hold us until we leave Guam. I had labeled several closets with ‘don’t pack’ signs, so the movers wouldn’t accidentally pack things that we still needed. My 7-year-old daughter followed behind me, very interested in what I was doing. Several minutes later, she walked past me with a ‘"DON'T PACK!!" sign on her forehead! I had to laugh.

There’s something about sorting through all our belongings, and seeing them get boxed up that causes me to reflect, usually about the place we’re leaving. Every place we’ve lived has held memories for our family. Do I like moving? I would have to say yes….and no. I do dread the goodbyes; I know I will miss certain places, people, things. Yet I try to look forward to the new assignment, meeting new people, exploring the new location, and settling in a new house and church.

It wasn’t always this way. I spent all my growing up years in the same town, with extended family living nearby. I attended college while still living at home, and moved from my parent’s house to my husband’s house when we married. Growing up in a small town, as a pastor’s daughter, well, I felt like I knew everyone. We were married a year and a half when we got orders to move from that small town to a base 1500 miles away. I was shocked! (I’m not sure why—I DID marry a military man!)

I still remember how painful it was for me to make friends when we first moved. Anyone who knows me now would find that laughable. But I truly couldn’t. My husband knew how lonesome I was and was so patient with me. One night, he drove me to a ladies’ group at our new church because I wouldn’t go alone, and he sat and waited for me in the dark foyer during the whole meeting...bless his heart!

One lady walked in and said, “There’s some guy hanging around out in the foyer”.

Me, sheepishly: “Um... that would be my husband!”

Apparently no one else needed to be escorted to a women’s function besides me! I can’t say that night was a ringing success but it was a beginning. Little by little I came out of my self-imposed shell. I look back over the 16 years [note: now 23 years!] I’ve been a military wife, and can’t believe I’m that same person. She was so scared and shy.

A long-time military wife said to me recently that they'd never had a bad assignment. At first I thought, oh gimme a break. It sounded a little too Pollyanna-ish.
But it made me stop and think. That is one great attitude to have.

How much does my attitude influence my happiness? I have found contentedness to be a choice and very little to do with where we are, how many friends I’ve made (or not made!), the weather, our location, or anything else.

Some of the unhappiest families I’ve seen are families in which the mom or dad complain about everything. That attitude of ‘everything here is stupid’, ‘how long till we leave here?’, or ‘what a dumb town’ trickles on down to the kids. And I've seen it happen in places that other people pay money to go to on vacation--it really has so little to do with the location! It's an attitude.

How we respond to challenges and moving really does affect our families. I know we will still struggle with some aspects of moving, but I do my best to keep a positive attitude and treat it like an adventure. Saying goodbye to friends IS difficult. I let myself and the kids grieve the friendships we lose, but on the flip side, we try to look forward as well.

When I’m tempted to get weighed down by the possible effect this transient lifestyle will have on my children, I remind myself that I don’t know what God is going to do in their lives someday. Hopefully, their experiences will help them adapt to whatever life throws their way. We know several military families with grown kids that have turned out to be well-rounded, adaptable, and open to where God leads them. That’s all I can ask for! I don’t want every change my kids face to be as painful as they once were for me.

It really is a choice to be content with where life has placed me, and bloom where I’m planted. I never understood what that meant until I kept getting replanted. I can choose to put down roots again, or I can stay in my little pot with my roots all balled up and dried out. I know which one sounds more fun to me. The goodbyes are harder the longer we are in the military, but the joys are also greater. We’ve had experiences that have changed all of our lives. We’ve made forever friends that would do anything for us and vice versa. We've been able to see parts of the world others only dream about.

Another moving day is coming...let's go!

a good attitude

2011-08-28T02:11:00.000-07:00

"We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it." ~Chuck Swindoll

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out." -John Wooden

This week was a busy one, with lots of meetings for me, and interacting with different types of people. I find watching people to be so very interesting, and you really can learn something from everyone. There are some that are naturally positive, and some...not so much. Some people expend a great amount of effort into being negative, cranky people. What a waste of energy! Then there are others who are truly like rays of sunshine, wherever they go.

My faith plays a big role in my life, so I have learned to put reminders around our home to keep my focus correct and my spirits up. This week, I'll take them down as we move to a new home around the world, but the words stay with me:

what's important

2011-08-09T02:03:00.000-07:00

note: As we prepare for another move, I was recently cleaning out some files, and came across some of my old articles and essays. I wrote this back in 2004, for a now-defunct military homeschooling newsletter for The Old Schoolhouse magazine. Not much has changed--we still seem to spend a lot of time living out of suitcases, and this is our 5th move since then. It spoke to me again here in 2011, and was a good reminder to myself about being grateful and mindful in everything. God is good.

What's Important

Fall is in the air here in North Dakota. A cold wind is blowing colorful leaves across the sidewalks, and we are huddled into our warm jackets. It's quite a change from our last military assignment in Guam.

Change is never easy, is it? We move away from familiar faces and places, and have to start over and over again. Sometimes it doesn’t seem worth the effort, when we know most friendships will be temporary. It takes effort to plug into a new homeschooling group or a new church, find a new hairstylist or even a great thrift store.

Our family of six lived out of suitcases for five months this year. Our household goods were packed in Guam in March, and little did we know then that we wouldn’t see any of it again until August due to housing mix-ups and waiting for base housing to finish construction. We were given the option to live in the TLF (Temporary Lodging Facility for you non-Air Force folks!) until it was ready. Our TLF was basically a very tiny, 2 bedroom furnished apartment. What we thought would be a 4-6 week TLF stay turned into three and a half months!

We learned much through our experience of living with only what we could fit into luggage. A suitcase doesn’t hold much, but we soon found that it’s still more than we need. Going through our clothing before we moved into the house, I discovered items at the bottoms of our suitcases that we hadn’t seen, much less needed in all those months! It’s truly amazing how little we need to ‘get by’ and how much excess stuff we tote around.

Living in close quarters can bring out the best and the worst in our children and us. Nerves seemed to fray more easily, but in another sense, every day was a new adventure. “What are we doing today?” was a common question that began our day. We spent time taking lots of long walks, going to the library, reading books, watching movies together. We read aloud again several of the Little House books this summer, and happened upon the book On the Banks of Plum Creek. Reading about the Ingalls’ family’s experiences living in the sod dugout home, and how little they owned was an eye opening experience for us, as we realized we were truly not deprived. True, we only had one tiny bathroom for the six of us, but it was indoor plumbing! We looked with new appreciation at the TVs, stove, and even furniture that had been provided for us. Reading that book reminded us that family and relationships are much more important than houses or things.

About two months into our stay, I realized that we would be spending the beginning of our school year moving into our new quarters (again!). I opted to start the kids on some of their schoolwork, knowing that we would want to take some time off in the fall to move in and enjoy being in a real house again. Having as much of a normal routine as possible helped the time go more quickly those last long weeks. I was surprised by a writing assignment my 11-year-old son turned in one day. He had written about our family and our experiences the past months. I was a little nervous about reading it. What would he write about? The disappointment of having our move-in date delayed several times? Mommy’s too-often short temper or the days it was too cold or buggy to go outside? No, instead he wrote about how much he loved us all, and how he had discovered how fun just being together was. Tears filled my eyes and I lifted a prayer of gratitude to the Lord for teaching him this lesson. I do know that it was only the Lord’s grace that brought us through. There was nothing magical about it, we will all attest! As one of my friends says, the only way through hard times is through them.

So please be encouraged. You may not be homeschooling under what others would consider ‘ideal circumstances’. Family may wonder and question why you continue to homeschool when your spouse is deployed in a war zone, or you just moved again for the third time in as many years, or you’ve recently had your fourth baby and your oldest is only seven. Much of what happens in our lives as military families is out of our control, and can seem arbitrary at best.

Please rest assured that God is in control and does hold you in His hand, even through particularly trying times. Especially through trying times! One of my all time favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11 where God says, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” I pray that you will trust in His unfailing love for you, as He unfolds your future before you, and reveals to you what is truly important.

Our then 6-year-old helping unpack our new house, fall 2004

home

2011-07-23T12:26:00.000-07:00

So yes, we will be on the move again soon, after only a year in Hawaii. I'm glad we've tried to make the most of our time on this beautiful island, including a trip this week to the Big Island of Hawaii (photos to follow!). In the meantime, as we prepare and sort belongings again, I was reminded of this happy truth from a little glass plate a sweet friend in Germany gave to me:

underfoot

2011-06-08T12:27:00.000-07:00

Participating again in this week's theme by Snapshots Around the World. This my lil' Anna, at Waikiki Beach, Oahu.

snapshots around the world--'musical'

2011-05-26T17:57:00.000-07:00

Tagged by my friend Kim at Snapshots Around the World.

This is a photo of my piano, taken by my daughter Grace. It's a good 100 years old, was originally my grandmother's. I learned to play on it, and was thrilled to get it from my aunt after my grandmother passed away. It's been to the Pacific, Europe, and back with us in our many travels.

It's one of my greatest treasures.

drink it in

2011-05-24T04:31:00.000-07:00

There are some moments that are just absolutely perfect, when I sit and close my eyes, breathe, and am simply grateful for where I am at that exact moment.

Today I had one of those..it was a great beach day. Perfect for a quiet read, since it was a bit "chilly" (read: below 80 degrees here in Hawaii) for me to actually get in the water.

The kids were undeterred though. Guess I have to stop calling them 'kids' at some point, with the older two turning 20 and 18 this year. Still, it was fun to watch my not-boys together, as our oldest is home for summer break from college. Neither will ever admit in a thousand years that they missed the other, but I think I can kind of tell..

I lifted my head from my book a few times to take it all in--the waves, the wind, the kids...watching my girls wander down the beach, being silly with each other, running, yelling, kicking sand. They are beautiful, and it's a joy to watch them each come into their own personalities, strong opinions, and lovely spirits.

our photographer!

All in all, it was a good day for me not to dwell on the fact that I will soon be the mother of two graduates, that I'm a little tired of this TDY-grind we find ourselves in as I make yet another trip to the airport, or that I'm not really sure how my life is going to look in a couple of years with how quickly everything keeps changing. It seems at times that the only constant IS change. But, nope, no time for that today. We are here, we are together. We are at the beach, and life is good.

"Lead, Kindly Light, amidst th'encircling gloom,

Lead Thou me on!

The night is dark, and I am far from home,

Lead Thou me on!

Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see

The distant scene; one step enough for me."

(John Henry Newman)

This says it all!

2011-05-22T13:59:00.000-07:00

my 'Biggest Loser' moment

2011-05-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

I'm a big fan of the Biggest Loser. One of my favorite points of each season is near the end of the contestants' weight loss journey. For one of their final challenges, each of them straps onto their bodies the same amount of weight they've lost, and realize how much it literally *weighed* them down. They've shed huge amounts of weight, 80-150 lbs. It's amazing to me how now, with their new trim bodies, it's such a struggle to carry the same amount of weight they used to carry each day! They get short of breath, have back pain, some of them can barely move.

I've been following the Weight Watchers plan for 15 weeks now, and while lately, the scale has been moving veeerrrry slowly (I'm getting within 10 lbs or so of my final personal goal), still..it is continuing to go down. After watching the latest episode of Biggest Loser, thought I'd do my own 'weight comparison' of how much I've lost. Though not nearly as impressive as theirs, this weight was still affecting my life and health, and I am so grateful that it is OFF! So here it is...when I try to lift it all at once, and realize how heavy it is, it's amazing to me that this used to be on MY body. What a good reminder of how far I've come, for this very visual person!

friendship has no rank

2011-05-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

Or....thinking out loud...

Well do I remember my first move as a young military spouse. Though I'd been raised in a community with a military base nearby, I still had no concept of rank, or what it meant. I was to soon learn that lesson.

To me, people were simply people. I was just...Jen. Kind of kooky, goofy, 'take me as you find me' sort of person. What you see is what you get. At 20 years old, I assumed everyone else was the same way. My husband was in the military, and I was danged proud of what he did....but that was not what defined me. I also had my own 'thang' going on. His military service was one part of our whole lives, not the sum total.

We had just moved thousands of miles from home, and were settling into a new community. No kids yet, and I worked full-time as a Registered Nurse. I was homesick and desperate to make some friends. I enjoyed going to the gym, and one day settled into a conversation with a nice looking lady. She was about my age, and it seemed we had a lot in common. We talked about meeting outside our exercise class for lunch. At some point, the topic of our husband's jobs came up (I have since found this to be brought up by certain types, in order to place me in their perceived 'hierarchy'). I proudly stated that he had just graduated with honors from the NCO academy.

"Oh...." I do believe her lip actually curled as she purposely slid herself a few feet away from me as the class was about to begin. Confused, I looked to her for an explanation, but she would make no more eye contact with me, nor did she ever talk to me again. I was crushed. I found out later her husband was an officer.

Now, lest you think I am going to go into a diatribe about a 'typical officer's wife', let me assure you that I am not. 22 years have passed since that experience, I'm not nearly as naive as I once was, and I've had lots of good and bad experiences with wives whose husbands are all ranks, and I realize that one individual does not speak for them all---but still, that situation did stay with me. I have since heard from officer's wives who have had the same experience in reverse. Now that I find myself a 'senior spouse', I find myself avoiding talk about my husband's job, as I don't want that to be the only thing people think about when they meet me (sometimes it's unavoidable, depending on the situation, like if he's standing right beside me in uniform!).

I simply wish we would just all be 'military spouses', and not defined by what our spouses do. In a perfect world, right? I know, I know...fraternization policies are in place for the good of the total force, to keep things professional between the service members and I understand that. As far as protocol, official military relationships and dealings...I get that. But we spouses aren't in the military, and frankly we are free to be friends with who we want to be friends with. Too many wives 'wear their husband's rank' and I find it ridiculous. I don't give a hoot about that--if you are a worthwhile, interesting person, well, that's what I care about.

After the above experience, I was pretty gun-shy about my dealings with fellow military spouses for awhile. I so badly wanted to do the right thing and was afraid of messing up somehow, or reflecting poorly on my husband. During this time, I met a lovely woman at church, and when I found what her husband's job was, I began pulling away. She confronted me about it, and said, "Listen..their jobs are their jobs. But you and I are sisters in the Lord."

And thats what I come back to and wish I could go back and tell my 20 year-old-self...in the middle of the night, when you are consumed with fear about your deployed spouse and need to hear a human voice, when you're far from home and need a ride to the hospital while you're in labor, when you break down on the side of the road, or just want to get a cup of coffee...what we have in common as military spouses is more important than the rank on our husband's uniform.

We're all just people. And I'm still friends with my wise church-lady, 20 years later. :) She was right.

mothers

2011-05-08T12:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers, aunties, grandmas, and 'mothers of the heart' who have never given birth to their own children, but are mothers all the same.

I have been blessed with a wonderful mother, whose impact on my life will only really be known on the other side of eternity.

Happy Mother's Day, Mommy.

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb

pulling weeds

2011-05-06T03:09:00.000-07:00

After the busyness of the past several weeks, I've finally had time to turn my attention to tending little things like my ~~weed garden~~ flowerbed.

I've been doing battle with this tree across the street for months.

In some strange Hawaii autumn-like phase, it's been dropping millions of tiny leaves and big evil pods like mad all over our yard, vehicles, and house. Every day I would sweep, every day it would drop more leaves, and so on. I will give the tree credit for winning. It just wore me down!

Now that the tree seems to be finished raining down its daily mess, I realized it was high time I pulled the few weeds I saw last week and cleaned up the front bed. Yikes.

It was much worse than I thought. I guess the tropical warmth and the extra rain we've had lately have multiplied those few weeds.

This became time-consuming pretty quickly. I'm obviously not a good gardener. I do love the results of gardening, but tend to forget to get around to the upkeep of it, so we don't need to discuss the number of plants that have met an untimely death under my watch. However, once I get working outside, I quickly remember how much I do enjoy it. I love the quiet, the time for thinking, the connection with nature. So I got digging around pretty good with my little rake. In my zeal, I accidentally pulled a good plant up by its roots, and I'm pretty certain I touched cat poo at one point.

The younger me would have been frustrated that I let it get this bad, berated myself over the thought that if I had just worked on it a little bit at a time, it wouldn't have become such a big job...I've been told that the inside of your purse and the state of your yard show the state of your mind, and to that I say: oh well.

Today, I chose to focus on the growth. Those plants were only inches tall when we arrived at this house, and look at them now! It is a bit like my life...quite a few cares and little irritations and yet, growth. Not perfection, a bit messy, but yes indeed, some good growth is going on.

And at the end of it all, I found this perfect little nest blown down from the big tree. We can miss these little things if we fret too much.

You can bury a lot of troubles digging in the dirt. ~Author Unknown

new article!

2011-04-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

If you subscribe to Home School Enrichment magazine, please check out the May/June issue for my article, "Military Homeschooling". I'm so excited with how it turned out, and think the layout is beautiful!

My Military Wife Life....the neighbor

2011-04-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

byToothpaste for Dinner

"It is harder to crack a prejudice than an atom." (Albert Einstein)

“Duncan…DUNCAN*!” My neighbor loudly called again from her front door. He, blond and small, continued digging at the hole he had created in their yard, and ignored her.

“DUNCAN!”

Dig, dig, dig. He turned his back toward her, and continued pulling at the red Guam clay with his stick.

“All right, that’s IT! I’m counting now, so you’d better come: 1-banana, 2- banana….”

Shifting in my lawn chair, I watched my kids tool their bikes and tricycles up and down the sidewalk in the muggy heat. I knew she could reach 100 “bananas” and Duncan still wouldn’t respond. I had heard different versions of this drama play out every day in the yard adjoining ours in base housing.

“3 banana…”

The words came more slowly now, as if she were pleading with the small child to just please obey and not force her hand. Duncan now dug at the clay with his feet, seemingly enjoying his mother’s discomfort. She stomped down the length of their yard, her pink shorts sporting “HOTTIE” across her rear. Grabbing him up impatiently, she carried him back into the house, him howling and wiggling. Passing within 5 feet of me on the trip down and back, she made no eye contact with me nor acknowledged my presence. I had long before stopped trying to engage her in the social niceties one normally extends to their fellow humans.

It was a frustrating situation for me, and one I never did completely understand. I had always gotten along with our neighbors at previous assignments. One of my favorite things is meeting and talking to new people, yet soon after we'd met, she’d begun questioning me about our homeschooling.

"So, are you a certified teacher? Because I am. I teach kindergarten. So I hope if you are homeschooling your children, you are a certified teacher….”

...and on and on. I heard the words “certified teacher” out of her mouth at least 10 times the first couple of days we lived there. I answered her as honestly and kindly as possible that no, I was not a teacher. Yes, we felt socializing was important. No, we obviously didn’t think public schooling was the only or even best avenue for that. Yes, I had been to college…no, I wasn’t crazy.

I was fairly confident in our decision to homeschool by that point, as our oldest was in 7^th grade, so I didn’t feel defensive, or respond so. Yet our very presence seemed to be an affront to her. I didn’t feel compelled to take her to task over her very loud yet ineffective child-rearing methods, the time her youngest purposely squashed a large toad in our yard, or how their kids stuck their tongues out at us everytime we pulled up into the driveway...yet just our being there seemed offensive to her.

Not that we were perfect, and I have never claimed that we were. But the fact that they chose to raise their children differently didn’t bother me. The only kids we’ve been tasked with raising are our own, and so far, homeschooling has been a good decision for US. I don’t often feel the need to defend or explain my position, especially to someone so openly hostile.

This type of situation has happened a few more times since. I do end up searching myself to see what I could have done or said to offend, and it’s frequently traced back to the moment they ask where the kids go to school, we answer that they homeschool, and the widened-eye response is, “Really?”

And not in a curious, interested tone, but the you-must-be-outta-your-ever-lovin'-mind tone. It doesn’t happen often, but I know the tone now when I hear it, and I just kind of resign myself to being judged by their misconceptions of what homeschooling really is. Which is too bad. Such a waste of time.

Oh well…with one in college, and another about to graduate, I’m pretty sure we’re in this homeschooling thing for the long haul. My old neighbor? I wonder which “banana” she’s on by now. J

*Name changed to protect the annoying

My Military Wife Life, pt. ?

2011-04-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

Some musings and thoughts...

I’ve had a fabulously interesting life thus far, I must say. My early years were spent in the desert Southwest, surrounded by loving family. I spent all my growing-up years in the same town, with my grandparents close by. It was a great way to be raised, and I can close my eyes still and see the rugged mountains, feel the scorching heat, and smell the fresh tortillas.

Fast forward a bunch of years…as a military spouse, I’ve lived in 9 different locations (so far) all around the globe, from Guam to Germany, North Dakota to Texas. People and what they do and why they do what they do has always fascinated me, and I truly enjoy people-watching.

And apparently we are fascinating as well, when we just don’t ‘get’ some things. Like why anyone would eat, say, poi or blood sausage or escargot on a regular basis. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I just don’t get it. J

Moving a lot, like we have done, can be very hard on military ‘brats’, the kids. I probably underestimate how difficult it is for them, in my desire to emphasize the positive. But I know one good thing that has come out of it has been that my kids have a much broader view of the world than I did at their age. They've seen a lot, both good and bad, and experienced much at such young ages. So they tend to take people at face value, and are very open, in so many ways.

I think that’s a pretty good way to view life, letting it unfold.

On a completely different note, I am proud to announce that a piece I wrote will be included in an upcoming book for deployed spouses titled Fighting Fear, Winning the Battle at Home, along with another piece that has been accepted for the Chicken Soup for the Soul book, Devotional Stories for Tough Times I’m blessed...and humbled.

Weight Watchers week 11

2011-04-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

Many women struggle with weight as they near middle age, and I'm one of them. I can come up with many reasons why--numerous deployments and moves that contribute to emotional eating, too busy to think about what I'm eating, not enough time for myself...blahblahblah. Actually, I had an easier time when my kids were younger-- I was so busy with four little ones that I guess I burned lots of calories! I felt I had come to a place of acceptance that this is just how I am, yet deep down I knew I was not being kind to myself or even being my best self by not really dealing with this. When I'd see unflattering photos, I'd just tell myself it was a bad angle, or the 'camera adds 10 lbs'.

One can do a lot of justifying when they're not ready to deal with an issue.

I've tried different things off and on over the past decade or so. I'm a life-long exerciser,so that wasn't the issue. Obviously, it was in how I dealt with food. While Steve was deployed last year, I lost about 15 lbs simply by cutting back portion sizes and going to the gym. Then I hit a wall and couldn't lose another ounce, no matter what I did. The only 'diet' type thing I've ever done was the "Weigh Down" program about 14 years ago. I had a lot of success initially, but all the weight came back. I'm not even going to go into why that 'program' is so flawed, at least for me, so I knew this was not something I could try again. (maybe more on that later)

My sister-in-law has had great success with Weight Watchers, and at the end of January I decided I would give it a try because I knew this was something I was unable to conquer on my own. Actually, I think my exact words were, "Well, they have an online special, so I guess I'll try it for 3 months and see what happens." Inside, I figured I might lost 4-5 more lbs, but maybe I'd learn something. Honestly, I didn't think it would help much.

Here I am, on week 11, and have lost 24 lbs! Color me stunned. I've always said I have a bad metabolism, or diets don't work, etcetc. But this has been surprisingly easy to follow, after the initial learning curve, and I've consistently lost each week. It seems the last piece of the fitness/food puzzle has been put into place for me, and I've learned so much. Even being an RN and being pretty well read about this topic, I had a lot of faulty thinking in regard to food (ie, some foods are 'bad', you just need to eat less, and on and on). I'm finally cautiously optimistic that I can get this under control--it's honestly something I can see doing for the rest of my life, which is key.

I don't think my brain has quite caught up,but here are my "before/in progress" pics.
Last fall, as we were dropping our oldest off at college.

YICK.

Here I am today. As Steve said, "You can see the bones in your face!" What a concept.

Also, I have a shorter 'do! For some reason, it just seemed like the thing to do, shed some hair as well. :)

My top tips for those following Weight Watchers:

Invest in a digital scale. You want to see your weekly progress--even if you've only lost half a pound, it will keep you going.
Lose the 'diet' mindset--this is a way of life, something you have to be willing to stick to for the rest of your life.
Find a few 'go to' meals that are mindless, and you can put together easily. For me, snacks are usually one of the following: hummus with some pita chips and sliced up veggies/yogurt with fruit and a a sprinkling of granola/ string cheese and grapes or a banana. I don't even think about it anymore.
Know that you can work in REAL food--that is the only way this is realistic! If you start to feel like there are foods you can't have, it's going to make it harder. I've eaten cheesecake, birthday cake, lasagna, pizza, and steak....I just can't eat it in the quantities I ate before. However, the 'first bite tastes like the rest'. It takes a lot less of those sorts of foods to satisfy me now.
The healthier you eat...the healthier you'll eat. As I concentrate on better food choices, it seems that's more of what I want.
If you 'mess up', just look at the reasons why, and move on. Don't beat yourself up. It has nothing to do with your value as a person or how 'good' you are. Some days you just need that big piece of chocolate cake. That's ok.
USE YOUR WEEKLY POINTS!! I know a lot of people who won't touch them. Use them! Some weeks I've used all my activity points too. It's nice to know they're there. :)

I know this is something I will always have to be mindful of, and I am certainly no expert on losing weight and keeping it off. I know the hardest part is in front of me--maintenance!

Hike to Koko Head

2011-04-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

We've spent a lot of time at the beach since we've lived here in Hawaii (and driving to and from volleyball practices/tournaments, irish step dancing classes, jobs, driver's ed,and youth group, but that's another story).

The last couple of months, we've tried to get out and do more hiking--there are so many beautiful places to hike on Oahu. I am constantly amazed that I live right in the middle of scenery like this:

(trail to Manoa Falls)

It seems unreal at times, still. . Last month, we decided to hike up Koko Head, which would fall under the category of 'things you do to say you've done them'...it's very steep, to say the least. This is the view from the bottom, and yep, we went all the way to the tippy top. Some people call it "Nature's Stairmaster". That should have been my first clue this wouldn't be a leisurely outing.

Basically, it's 1100 unevenly spaced railroad ties, from an old railway once used to send supplies up to the top.

Every so often, the ties are numbered, so you know how much ~~suffering~~ climbing is left. Wasn't that nice of someone?

This is the point where I very nearly sat down and waited for the rest of my family to come back and collect me, but after seeing the lady walk down carrying her BABY (I could not make this stuff up) and the people actually running up and down the trail, I huffed all the way up.

The last about 1/3 of the trail...and I did not doctor this to make it look steeper than it was.

There was a little open area of rickety bridge to cross. My sweet hubby went back and forth several times, helping the more nervous among us. I love this photo of him and Gabe helping the girls:

When we got to the steepest part, we had to stop every 20 ties or so, and take a rest. Once we finally got to the top, we were rewarded with some amazing sites.

Koko Head crater

Hanauma Bay

Not a bad place to stop and rest, eh? (Gabe). We saw several whales breach from this spot.

Yep, we all made it..and we can all say we survived Koko Head!!

whew!

Look who's home!

2011-04-04T02:47:00.000-07:00

After an overseas to overseas move, the wait on housing, and finalizing the 'doggy' paperwork for Hawaii, we have our dog back home!
Welcome home, Toby! And many thanks to my sister and parents for caring for him all this time.

these perfectionist tendencies

2011-03-28T04:25:00.000-07:00

So yes, my blogging these past months has been pretty sporadic. Seems that my writing time has been taken up by 'real-life' writing (magazine and book submissions), which doesn't leave me a lot of time to tend my little blog. I tend not to post a blog entry if I don't have oodles of time to dink over it, but today I'm just pressing that 'publish' button.

There are loads of photos to share from our many hikes around this beautiful island of O'ahu, and we also have had visitors over the past months. Gabe is nearing his graduation time, which means we will have two (gulp!) homeschoolers left with us next year. Life is changing quickly, and sometimes we just hang on! Or sit by the beach, as the case may be.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with this beautiful view of Kaneohe Bay. Wish you were here!

My sheep know my voice...

2011-03-09T19:12:00.000-08:00

My husband has a very distinct whistle. Through our nineteen years as parents, our children have come to know it well. In a crowded mall, at a sports event, or anywhere he needs to get their attention, he simply has to throw out that whistle, and their heads lift as they look around for him. No matter how much noise is going on around them, the sound of that whistle cuts through it all, as far as they're concerned (this is especially handy if they’re on a baseball field or volleyball court, and my sports-minded husband is trying to give them a signal!).

Last week, Steve was on leave from work, so we did several hikes around the local area. At one point, two of the children got a little farther ahead on the muddy trail and I wondered out loud where they’d gotten themselves to. Steve whistled a couple of times, and in a matter of moments, heads popped back from around the turn before us,and the kids waved and updated us on what was coming ahead.

As we continued tromping along,it set me to pondering this verse,
"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me."
(John 10:27)

And it made me wonder if I know the sound of God’s voice as well as my children know their Dad’s. Do I take enough time to get to know MY Father so that his voice, his ‘whistle', is unmistakable to me? Do I desire His leading, yet refuse to take the time to get to know His voice well enough so that it can cut through the clamor of the rest of my life? I want to know Him so well that when the rush and noise of life’s trials are swirling around me, the voice of my Father is the sound I hear above the rest.

Grace at Maunawili Falls trail, O'ahu

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In

2011-01-21T04:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'll play! We're back to the on/off TDY grind, which means I have insomnia, so why not? Go to Wife of a Sailor for more.

1. What do you usually want to know about someone when meeting them for the first time?
I love meeting new people! One of my favorite things to do...I love to hear about their background, where they're from, about their family, where they've lived or traveled, etcetc. Yep, I'm a talker!

2. Would you rather know everything about your spouse, or be regularly surprised?
Kind of a funny question...we've known each other now for 24 years...so if something new does come up, I am surprised! I do have to admit that he does often surprise me with his thoughtfulness and how he listens to me. I'm blessed.

3. If you could live in one city for the rest of your life, where would you live?
Hmm....it would have to be near some family. Since my family is so spread out, at this point we think somewhere in Texas, like San Antonio. (GREAT city)

4. When you go out of town, what one material thing do you ALWAYS take?
My toothbrush, of course! All kidding aside..my light jacket that I use when I get cold--which is often--or I can ball it up to use as a pillow. Yes, boring.

5. Using no more than 10 nouns, and ONLY nouns, describe yourself.
Wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, Christian, military, laughter, chat, fun. :)

So many books, so little time...

2011-01-20T15:08:00.000-08:00

We are a family of bookworms! This is Gabe's senior year, and kind of our 'last chance' to get in the lit. that I think is important before he graduates (not that he won't read after he graduates, but he won't have to read what I tell him to anymore!). I've been scouring high school and college book lists, checking with him on what's been read/not read, and he's got quite a little pile to work on.

My younger two and I still read aloud together nearly every day, and it's actually still my favorite part of the homeschooling day. Some of the best books we've read together this year have been:

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred Taylor (to my mind, needs no explanation...one of my all-time favorites!)

A Long Way From Chicago by Richard Peck (new to us--humorous, and ended up being another favorite)

Homesick--My Own Story by Jean Fritz (funny too, though there was one sad section where I broke into the 'crying voice'. I can't help it. I'm a big softie)

The Breadwinner by Deborah Ellis (magnificent perspective on a child growing up in Afghanistan...every American child should read this at some point)

I could go on and on..but tell me some of YOUR favorite books for middle schoolers and young adults!

What I did on my vacation...

2011-01-15T16:35:00.000-08:00

Oldest son was home from college, hubby was off work for a couple of weeks, and fun was had by all. A few things I did:

-Beat every level of "Angry Birds" on my phone. I'm really not joking.

-Picked up Matt from the airport--first time we've seen him since August--yeah!!

-Even after a whole semester of hearing Matt and Gabe claim they did NOT miss each other, as soon as Matt hit the ground, it was talk-talk-talk. "Dude, did you see...?" "Do you want to....?" Not to mention the nerf-gun wars, late nights playing PS3 and watching movies. Sure, Gabe's room is clean again with big brother gone. But I know you miss each other!

-Watched several Irish Dance performances, featuring this cute lil' dancer:

-Sat for several days at a volleyball tournament, Grace's first here. She did great!

-Hosted my parents on their first visit to Hawaii. We had a TON of rain. I heard that it rained 400% more than normal this December. 400%!! It figures! In spite of the weather, I think we did manage to hit all the high points here. Though I'm not sure I'd recommend a rainy luau to anyone.

-Went to a homeschool meeting and felt strangely out of place. I'm not sure why, since I've been homeschooling for 16 years.. Hmm..will have to explore that further.

-Changed the name of this blog. Again. Likely no one else cares. It's now "Middle-aged Mama". But thought it should reflect more what stage of life I'm in, vs. the geographical location, which is always subject to change, given our military life. And since I just read that middle age extends from 40-60 or 65 years of age, I figure the title might stick for awhile. :)

-Went to several work-related Christmas parties. My husband takes these festivities very seriously.

-Got everyone corralled long enough to take an all-together family photo. That feels like such an accomplishment.

-Had an article published on Rosetta Stone's website and another article accepted for the May/June issue of Home School Enrichment magazine. That's four articles published in the past few months. Exciting for me! Maybe I am finally figuring out what I'll be when I grow up?

-Ate too much, stayed up too late, spent too much money....it was FABULOUS.

Hope yours was fabulous as well!

latest writing

2011-01-02T05:26:00.000-08:00

I just realized I only wrote one post in December, and that is probably as it should be, as far as priorities go. I am finally getting around to mailing out the books from the giveaways, so please bear with me! (Kristi Holl won the Putting God Back in the Holidays book) We've had family in town, along with our oldest son back home from college, so those things have gotten a little bit lost in the shuffle around here!

Just saw that the article I wrote for Rosetta Stone Language company's homeschooling newsletter recently came out: Homeschooling, Military Style. So that is exciting for me! I am continuing to work on my writing courses and actual writing in the little free time I have...so I have a feeling that blogging will continue to be hit and miss for me in the upcoming months.

Happy New Year!

Book giveaway from Moody Publishing!

2010-12-03T10:37:00.000-08:00

Another book giveaway! Please leave a comment following this post, and I will enter your name for a drawing to win the book Putting God Back in the Holidays by Bill and Penny Thrasher.

This book was recently released by Moody Publishers (Oct. 2010), and discusses the holidays throughout the year, and ways to keep them Biblically centered and special to our families. Whether your family has its own traditions or not, or you'd simply like some new ideas, this would be a great resource for any family. The main theme of this book is to approach each holiday with purpose, then follows up with practical applications for each specific holiday. As Christians, the reminders to approach each holiday with God in mind (from Valentine's Day to July 4) is a great reminder to live life purposefully.

I will draw a name next week for a free copy of this book (including shipping). So leave a comment!

sunsets over Oahu

2010-11-29T22:45:00.000-08:00

We have quite the view out the back door of our new military housing. In fact, it's pretty fabulous. I can't believe we get to live here! Some days, we get a teeny sprinkle then a rainbow...

But most evenings find me out in my backyard, with my camera, just soaking in the view of the ever-changing sky and the water reflecting back the amazing colors. Every night is a different display. In fact, my husband asked if I was going to take photos of the sky every night. His words were, "you can't take a photo of every sunset!" But I can try....

(the 'eagle' in the third photo is a sculpture down by the water)

Just picked up this plaque at a gift store here in Hawaii, and it sums up how we're feeling about this place!

and the winners are....

2010-11-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

...with my trusty assistant, Anna, we just drew the names for the 2 book giveaways. Congratulations!

Teri S. won the book Faith Deployed, and Kat won the book Battlefields and Blessings.

If you didn't win this time, be on the lookout in the next couple of weeks. I have another book from Moody Publishers that I will be reviewing and I have a free copy to give away. It's called Putting God Back in the Holidays. Look for it!

Thanks, everyone, and have a blessed Friday!

Veteran's Week blog tour-Faith Deployed

2010-11-11T22:15:00.000-08:00

Another chance to win a free book!

Today, I have the opportunity to review the book, Faith Deployed, a daily devotional compiled by Jocelyn Green. It’s a great book of encouragement for military spouses, with writers from every U.S. military branch. Each day's selection consists of a Bible verse, personal reflection, then an “ask” and “pray” section to get you thinking further. This is a GREAT resource for any military spouse. I love how each day's devotional has enough 'meat' in it to get you thinking.
The chapters include thoughts that particularly apply to military spouses, such as “Taking Every Thought Captive”, “Guarding the Heart”, “Total Surrender”, and “Active Duty Faith”.

There is so much strength and wisdom contained in this little book, from conquering resentment, to coping with life as a “single parent” (due to frequent TDYs or deployments), to viewing a new military assignment as a ‘missionary journey’. This book helps us see the military experience through the eyes of faith, reminds us to reach higher and see beyond our circumstances, and trust that all things come through God’s hands. It will be an invaluable resource to any military spouse, whether you are brand new to this lifestyle or a 'seasoned' spouse like me.
Be sure to leave a comment after this post for a chance to receive a FREE copy of this marvelous book! I will close out comments next Wed. and do the drawing then. If you win, I will contact you for your address, and ship the book to you!

Also, be sure to visit Jocelyn’s award-winning Web site for military wives at http://www.faithdeployed.com/
Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives won the following awards:

· Bronze Medal, spiritual/religious category, Military Writers Society of America
· Bronze Medal, inspirational category, Branson Stars and Flags Book Awards

· (The book’s Web site, www.faithdeployed.com, won third place in the blog category this year from the Evangelical Press Association, too.)

Veteran's Week blog tour and book giveaway!

2010-11-10T23:53:00.000-08:00

Hello! Veteran’s Day is this week, and Jocelyn Green over at http://www.faithdeployed.com/ is hosting a “Veteran’s Book Blog Tour”. As part of that, I was thrilled to be asked to review her book Battlefields & Blessings: Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq & Afghanistan. As the wife of an active duty military man who has served in both Iraq and Afghanistan, I found myself both nodding in agreement and shedding tears as I read through it.

But before we get to the review, I also want to let you know that I have a copy of the above book to GIVE AWAY! Yes! So leave a comment at the end of this post, and I will randomly select a name to receive a copy of this book. I will close out comments one week from today. If you’re not interested for yourself, please pass it along to your friends, perhaps an active duty person, a military spouse or parent who would enjoy this book.

On to the book… as the back cover reads, “readers will come away appreciating those who have lived loudly for liberty.” The book is composed of daily readings, written by what you might call a panel of experts: active duty military, spouses, family members, and civilians connected with the military. Each day’s reading contains a short story from real life. Coming from different perspectives as they do, it gives a clear, real view of a nation at war. I’ll be honest….while Steve was deployed to Afghanistan over this past year, some of these stories may have hit a little too close to home for me to read during that time. Now that we are past this latest deployment, I am able to go back and look at that time period with more perspective. A book like this helps with that perspective, as I see that many others have had the exact same feelings as I’ve experienced.

Be prepared, this is unvarnished storytelling by some of our nation’s bravest. But they're stories worth telling, worth reading. Each reading ends with a ‘prayer’, and there is also usually a Scripture that reminds us to turn to the Lord.

Faith in adversity is the overarching theme of this important, unique book. We're reminded to keep our faith and courage, to maintain our faith and trust in the Lord, regardless of the circumstances. The writers have managed to give voice to fears I was unable to express, worries I didn’t want to verbalize, and hopes I quietly cherished.

This book has won two awards:

· Gold Medal, spiritual/religious category, Military Writers Society of America
· Silver Medal, inspirational category, Branson Stars and Flags Book Awards

A must read for anyone connected to the military, especially in this era of frequent deployments.
Please leave a comment, and you could WIN a free, signed copy of this book!

Please visit http://www.battlefieldsandblessings.com/ for more information! Tomorrow I will post a book review/giveaway for the book Faith Deployed.

the view from here

2010-11-09T22:09:00.000-08:00

So I was going to write a post about how we're busily unpacking, whilst running kids around to their various activities: new job/irish dance/volleyball/music/theater/youth group, and settling into our new lives in Hawaii. I haven't had a spare moment to write for about 2 weeks (which is making me insane!!) and am both thrilled to be finally in our house, while also anxious to be done unpacking. But how can I concentrate on any of the above, when I have THIS to look at, right outside my back door?

latest article

2010-10-28T03:12:00.000-07:00

Please head over to the Wives in Bloom website, to see my latest article, "Roses in the Desert". Please pass it on to anyone you think might be interested! I am so excited and very encouraged by the sweet notes and comments for this writing. Wives in Bloom is the online magazine of Christian Military Wives Ministry. The website is a great resource for both new and "seasoned" military wives alike. Check it out!

take a walk!

2010-10-25T11:17:00.000-07:00

I love to walk. I've been walking regularly now, for hmm....about 25 years (yes, I know that's longer than some of my young friends have been alive). You know they say it takes 21 days to build a good habit? I think I'm covered. With brief forays into other modes of exercising--and some of the fads that have been popular (step aerobics and kickboxing come to mind)--I always return to walking because it's easy, cheap, and I don't need any special equipment other than a pair of shoes. As a mom, I can fit it in on a regular basis when I'm able, and don't have to arrive at a class at a particular time--I'm on my own timetable. That has helped me keep at it for the long haul. My husband is a runner, and believe me, I've wanted so badly to make that work for me. I will still build in 'bursts' of jogging here and there, but my body simply isn't made for distance running. Knee surgery a couple of years ago sealed that deal for me.

While the gym is ok, and a good back-up if the weather is bad, if I can be OUTside, that's where I want to be. I've walked in hot, humid weather. And I've walked through snow with a scarf wrapped around my head and face, with clunky boots on my feet. I've walked during the day, and I've walked at night. My little doggie goes crazy when he sees me get out my walking shoes. Right now, I am thrilled to be in 'paradise' and know that I can walk outside, every single day! I feel spoiled and am taking advantage of the mild climate here while I can. No matter what the weather, there is something head-clearing about walking outside that I don't get from a treadmill. When running, I need my ipod to ~~drown out the sound of my gasping~~ distract me. When I'm walking, I listen to the birds and soak in the quiet....think, pray, muse.

Another good thing about walking is that there are no excuses! When my kids were little-- I had 4 kids aged 7 and under---I simply loaded up the middle two in the double stroller, put the baby in her back carrier, and my oldest rode his bike. ( "strength training", anyone?) I have such good memories of those days. The walks might have taken a little longer, but it was good for them too. We'd stop and watch construction sites, note interesting birds or other nature. Talked a lot. It was good. These days, I often have a teenager or two join me. We still talk a lot. :)

This is the trail behind our new house. Yeah, I'm excited.

There's lots of research showing the benefits of regular walks, but I'll leave you with a couple of quotes that I hope will encourage you to go take a walk!

A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine and psychology in the world. ~ Paul Dudley White

If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk. ~Raymond Inmon

When you have worn out your shoes, the strength of the shoe leather has passed into the fiber of your body. I measure your health by the number of shoes and hats and clothes you have worn out. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Solvitur ambulando, St. Jerome was fond of saying. To solve a problem, walk around. ~Gregory McNamee

what was the purpose?

2010-10-19T03:41:00.000-07:00

My sweet friend, Susie, went through a recurrence of cancer this past winter. During that same time period, a precious friend to both of us died suddenly and tragically. We were reeling in disbelief and grief... struggling with questions and trust, faith and doubts.

My husband was also deployed to a 'hot spot' in Afghanistan, and then I began having some scary medical symptoms. It was a long, dark winter, in more ways than just physically. And it seemed endless.

Susie and I sat this spring, talking, before we both moved from Germany. I confided to her (such audacity on my part, considering she was at the end of chemo and radiation!) that I knew there was supposed to be some lesson in all that had happened over the past months, but I wasn't quite sure yet just what it was. She is a wise woman. She looked at me, and said something along the lines of,

"Sometimes there is no lesson, other than that you just made it through."

Christians today don't typically embrace suffering. It's human nature to want to wriggle our way out of it. We want something more to show than just having survived. You know that saying, "I don't want to just survive! I want to thrive!" But sometimes, surviving is enough....because you can only go up from there. And you've lived to see another day. And that may be all that appears on the surface. But within us, God is doing a deeper work.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2)

I'm amazed when people go through hardship and come out of it with the belief that life is short and they need to grab all they can get, before it's too late. How sad.

I've heard two messages this past week on "why bad things happen to good people". Apparently, it's a message that bears repeating and one I haven't learned well enough yet. Each of us will face this quandry if we live long enough. Life is fragile, fleeting, and a gift we must learn to hold lightly.

But this is not all there is.

Do you believe that?

This is not all there is!

If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men. (1 Cor. 15:19)

There are no easy answers to the question of suffering, and I won't pretend to know all the 'whys'. But God knows.

We got through it....and that's enough for now.

***for my friends Chris, Susie, Laurie, and Sheila....you know why***

time well spent

2010-10-15T05:05:00.000-07:00

richarddigitalphotos

My times are in Your hands....Psalms 31:15

So at last count, our household goods were packed 5 months ago and we've been living out of our suitcases since then. We're been in a hotel/ "temporary lodging" (the military's word for a small, furnished 2 bedroom apartment) for nearly 3 months as we wait for our housing to open up. Steve is traveling a lot with his new job and I miss him, which is how it's just gonna be here. Our oldest is at college and we feel his absence from our family life every day, my doggie is at my parents, I still feel displaced, and yet....life is good.

I think back to my younger days, and remember how much time I wasted thinking "once ______ happens, then I will be happy." Only for ______ to happen, and I would then be looking forward to the next thing, whatever that was---marriage, kids, a new job. That 'grass is always greener' syndrome, which is really only discontentment.

We've been through some hard times, a lot of them in recent years. I've seen friends and loved ones go through what can only be described as hell. My heart has been broken into pieces, I've begged God for comfort and have spent many wakeful, watchful nights. But somehow, time moves forward and life goes on. Yet, rather than making me bitter and looking forward to when things will get 'better', it has caused me to stop more often and enjoy whatever moment I'm in. I wish I could've learned this lesson at a younger age, but I suspect it's only by going through a bit of life that you begin to appreciate its preciousness. Not that I do this perfectly, and not that I don't have days that get the best of me. But my hope is to try to wring out every drop of life possible. Because I'm not promised one more moment than here and now. This ol' gal has seen enough to know some things.

Life is short, and much more fleeting than we'd like to think. Everything can change in a moment.

People are more important than things.

and...

I can sleep when I'm dead... there is simply too much I want to see, do, and experience right now.

I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances. Philippians 4:11

on being "ambitious"

2010-10-07T04:08:00.000-07:00

My Gracie, at age 2....no I'm not such a goober that I made her wear a helmet and pads on her tricycle. Those were her brother's and she put them on herself. She is 14 now and rides real bikes.

I am glad I started homeschooling a very long time ago, when there were so few curriculum choices. These days, when there are so many official looking companies/authors/teachers Out to Make a Buck, and to make a regular mom feel completely inadequate while doing it, it can be difficult to sort through it all. The pressure must be immense for moms just starting out. I know this, because I subscribe to several homeschool email lists and I see notes like this come through from time to time:

"Hi, I am _________. I have 3 children, aged 5 and 3/4 years, 3 years, and a 6 month old. For math we are using Singapore Math and Saxon and are supplementing with the "Key To" books. For our history curriculum we are finishing up our study of the Ancients and are heading into our second year of a 4 year chronological history cycle. For Language arts, we are studying Latin and Greek with A Beka grammar thrown in for 'fun'. We use the Kingfisher/Usborne/DK books for science, along with our regular science curriculum, with which we practice our notetaking and outlining skills."

I only wish I were kidding.

To these ambitious homeschooling mommies, I want to say:

Relax. Take a breath. Life is too short.

These "play-doh years" will pass much more quickly than you ever thought possible.

All the curriculum that you are agonizing over now--well, I hate to break it to you, but when your kids are 12, 14, and 16, they will not remember it. When you question, "What do you mean, you don't remember the Ptolemies? We studied those in 1st grade, for goodness' sake!"… you will most likely get a blank stare in return. It’s just over their heads at this age.

What they need at this stage of their lives is you. Time with you, fun playing games, living life as a family. Fingerpainting, running around outside, and breathing in lots of fresh air.

So what would I recommend as an alternative for new homeschooling moms?

Take walks-- rain or shine. Go slowly, and let them set the pace, as they discover the world around them. A caterpillar, worm, or flower is so very fascinating at this age. And it's such fun to watch little ones explore the world.
Read together. A lot. Read picture books and classics, fun books and silly books (my kids were fond of joke books at this age!).

Cook together, sing together, do errands together. Let them help you in the kitchen or as you go about your daily chores.

Play silly games.

Laugh. Enjoy those kids.

If it makes you feel better, go ahead and throw in a few math and phonics worksheets for the 5 or 6 year old. Better yet, help them write a letter to Grandma, telling how much fun they are having in 'school'.

Slow down--enjoy. I promise you won't regret it.

soaking up the warmth

2010-10-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

My daughter said to me the other day that it still feels like we're here "just for vacation", and that it doesn't seem real that we'll actually be living in Hawaii. I think we all feel that way--we've only been here 6 weeks, plus we're still not in our house yet, so things still feel temporary. Maybe it will all seem more real once we are settled. At any rate, here are a few more of the sights we've been blessed with over the past weeks!
P.S....the sky and water really are that blue. :)

a dumb old day

2010-09-29T03:42:00.000-07:00

It was just a dumb old day. I was tired and weary this morning and not a little grouchy. We have been living in a hotel/military lodging since the end of July (it's a long boring story, and trust me it would just put you to sleep to have to hear about it), and all the "togetherness" is a little much sometimes. Steve is gone on his second TDY since we moved here last month, and the people in the room next to us had a small child screaming into the wee hours of the night, or maybe it was morning?

So I will admit I was feeling a teensy bit sorry for myself. Self pity is a slippery slope, and I do try to avoid it because it's really not fruitful, but this morning I admit I was indulging a bit. But it only got better-- I realized I had sent in a writing submission to a publication, complete with a typo that I had somehow missed. dumb dumb DUMB. (note to self--don't send in writing when you're tired) Never mind the part where I tripped up the stairs or got ink on my white pants. Actually that last part is pretty much par for the course in my life!

Fast-forward a few hours...Anna and I decided to go for a walk and enjoy the balmy weather (mostly to get out of the teeny lodging). We were walking along the water near Pearl Harbor and saw a submarine doing a "shift change". I wish I had a photo to show you, but I didn't even try to take one with my phone, because apparently it's illegal to do that. There are patrol boats going to and fro on the water between the walkway and the subs when they are transferring personnel, and word is they will actually sail right on over to where you are and confiscate your camera, and possibly chew you out through a megaphone. Didn't feel like dealing with either of those options. :) But we're allowed to watch.

So Anna and I stood transfixed, watching something we'd never seen before...the boat pulling up to the sub, seamen transferring between the two. The people were standing on the top of the submarine, and we were just sure someone might fall into the water. As I told Anna, it looked like a tiny little surface from our vantage point, but is probably much bigger than we think. And I will admit as an Air Force wife, that it was fascinating... this glimpse into a world I know nothing about.

And did you catch that part that we were on Pearl Harbor? Pearl Harbor, people!! That is an amazing thought in itself, and sometimes I still can't believe that we will be living here for the next-however-long. WOW. It is not lost on me how blessed we are, with the opportunities we've had through the military. Just 2 months ago, I was standing in Europe, and now I stand looking at Pearl Harbor. It's mind-blowing.

So, tonight...still a little bit tired, less cranky, and waiting on a child at sports practice, I turned and had my breath taken away by the picture God had painted. I know it wasn't solely for me, but at that moment it felt like it. Just seeing it helped me feel right about the world again, my place in it, and His constant perfect plan. I know He is always working.
(taken from my cell phone)

Thanks, God.

more on writing and creativity

2010-09-27T13:02:00.000-07:00

The other day, my girls and I were at the craft store for a ceramics class. We met a delightful little lady named Linda, and chatted with her about life on Hawaii (she was raised here), crafts, and painting. I moved to get out of her way as she was gathering up her paints. I asked if she worked there, and she said,
"Oh no, I just come in from time to time to volunteer and I love to be around the young ones. I'm 81 years old, you know."

No! I didn't know--and she was so spry and vibrant, I'd have never guessed her age. I absolutely loved her spirit, her desire to be around other people, and to continue learning new art techniques. Grace and I talked about her on the way home, how delightful she was and what a great example of living life.

I think one of the most important things I've discovered as an adult is to keep on learning, to continue discovering, to nurture that sense of wonder and excitement about life. There is always something new to learn, and we have never 'arrived'. I never want to feel that life is dull or that I am just marking time. Like Julia Child in the movie Julie and Julia almost bounding out of bed each morning because she cannot wait to see what the day holds.

So even though I'm "old" and probably should know what I want to be when I grow up, I am having a great time exploring some writing courses to improve my skills, and decided to jump into this one: CBI Clubhouse Challenge

I have hopes that it will help me decide whether writing for children is something I wish to pursue or not. The Christian Writers' Guild also has courses that are highly recommended, though a bit pricier.

I also found this great little gem by Maeve Binchy, called The Maeve Binchy Writers' Club.

Over the years, I've enjoyed her writing 'voice', and though her worldview is decidedly different than mine (so don't blame me if you get one of her novels and don't like the content), she is marvelous at character development and dialogue. I can definitely recommend the Writers' Club book for writing instruction.
My favorite quotes so far:

"I wish that hope stays with you always. It is what will eventually draw out of you the book, the stories, the writing that are in there waiting to be released."

"The idea is to take the terror out of writing, to empower ourselves with the belief that we are as good as anyone else, with as much to say as the next person. The only thing that stands in our way is not saying it."

"I hope that you think it was all worth it and that you will never be among those who say that you could have written only if you had had the chance."

I'm constantly amazed how creative human beings are, but I shouldn't be. I believe the desire for beauty is a God-given gift, or why else would He take so much time creating beautiful flowers, sunsets, and babies? We are also given the gift of creating in our own little sphere, and it is such an incredible privilege to be a part of that.

So whether your dream is writing for yourself or for another publication... to create art or a beautiful homespace (which can be one and the same), I hope that fear will not disable you. Have fun creating in your corner of the world!

too good not to share

2010-09-24T03:29:00.000-07:00

Do you desire to live a faith-filled life? Then you will come across great battles.

I love Sally Clarkson's writing. If you are discouraged with this 'impossible life', please go have a look at her blog entry for today.

So, often, we find ourselves in places that seem impossible--that unless God works, we are sunk. I am often over my head. The older I get, the more I see my sin and selfishness. The more I see how little control I really have in life. I often find that I am in over my head--unless God works, I don't see how we will make it--whatever that is!

...This is our opportunity to live out a story of faith--to have a history of how God saved us, helped us, answered our prayers, gave mercy, provided.

What a good reminder of God's faithfulness that I needed to hear..I'm so thankful she shared this.

a note to my younger self

2010-09-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

Steve and I, 1990. I was nearly 21.

Have you ever thought about what you'd go back and tell your 20 year-old-self, if you could? (for those of you who are 20-somethings, maybe go a bit younger!)

I've read several blog posts lately along these lines, and it's set me to thinking. I am not the same person I was when I was 20 (thank heavens). I doubt you are either. Other than the tight bod and unwrinkled skin, I would not trade places with that girl! What would you go back and say to your younger self? For a start, here's what I'd say:

Don't worry so much about what people think. There's always going to be someone who can find fault with what you're doing, so just go ahead and live your life. You can't please everyone, and you'd probably be a little boring if you could.

Embrace the new. Yes, you had a great upbringing surrounded by loving family, but don't be afraid now to step out of that circle. The reason you are able to fly is because of that nurturing. You'll be ok.

All those places you've dreamed about visiting? Yeah, you'll see Paris. And Rome and London. And you'll snorkel the Great Barrier Reef, ski in the Alps, travel in Europe, and live outside of your own country for at least 4 years. Get ready, girl!

Be sure to recognize true friendship when you see it. Some of your best friends will have lives with no resemblance to yours and that's ok. That's how you grow, and honestly it would be a little bit redundant if your friends were exactly like you. They will be older and younger than you, have different beliefs maybe, but you'll be blessed to know them. Stay open.

Know your faith. It's what is going to get you through your tough days. You are going to face heartache and pain. That is life. Be prepared for it by laying the groundwork now. Spend time in prayer and with your Bible.

Don't expect your husband to be your 'everything'. It's not fair to him or you. Only God can fill that place in your life. You will have a much happier marriage if you put God first in your life. You'll be amazed at what a marriage can truly be when you take that pressure off your husband.

You will not always be a nurse. You are actually going to spend years at home, raising children and (gasp!) homeschooling. I know, that one's hard to believe, isn't it? So silly, you, a homeschooler!! You were going to have a career. You don't even necessarily like kids that much, right? It's laughable. Get ready for the most overwhelming rush of love you've ever felt when you hold your first baby. I would try to describe it, but you would think I was exaggerating. I'm not. It will change you forever and how you look at the world, what's important, and what your priorities are... when you become a mother. I'm not even going to tell you yet how many kids you end up having, because you'd probably run screaming in the other direction. :)

Take care of yourself. It's so easy to let all the tasks you need to accomplish take over your day. But you're a human being, not a human 'doing'. Give yourself permission to relax, read a book, take a walk, soak in the tub. The world will not stop turning if you rest, trust me!

Enjoy the small moments. Don't always be looking ahead, wondering about what is to come. Take in what is going on around you right now. You will lose some of the most important people in your life, your children will grow up and set off on their own, and you will wish you could go back and enjoy those small moments again.

And that's where I'll end....what you think are the small things now are what you will remember most later on. Drink it in, girl.

how are you?

2010-09-15T02:33:00.000-07:00

photo by lushlee.com

"Hearts reach hearts", said our pastor this past weekend. Such a simple thought, yet one packed with meaning. People are created for love and fellowship, and it's one heart that reaches another. If the 'care' is not there, people tend to be turned off.

"People don't care what you know, till they know that you care," is perhaps an overused saying by evangelicals. But it's true.

I read recently that having a loved one deployed is akin to dealing with a severe long-term illness or family trauma. It's an incredible stress. While Steve was deployed this past year, one thing I noticed was that over time, most other people became accustomed to the situation and quit asking me how I was. (I'm not saying this to make anyone feel badly, it's just the way it was) I think with any ongoing stress or difficulty, people react in the beginning, and then life goes on.

For them.

Trust me when I say, that for the deployed family members, life is not the same, no matter how well they seem to be doing.

So at the 9-month mark of his last deployment, when someone suddenly asked me out of the blue, "How are you?" tears sprang into my eyes, and I had a hard time not turning into a sobbing mess. Just the love and concern in their face did it. Such a simple gesture....such a profound impact on me.

So I pray that my experiences have made me more mindful of what other people are going through. I'm sure I'll forget too, for life does get busy and my memory tends to be short. But it seems God keeps nudging me to remember to be mindful of what those around me, and the the problems and storms they are facing. To not be afraid to express care and concern. Sometimes we don't want to interfere, but trust me, those who are hurting need you... are begging for you to 'interfere'. Your care may be the one thing that keeps them from slipping into despair. Let your heart be unafraid to reach out to another.

So...how are you?

reading

2010-09-14T03:47:00.000-07:00

You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be --
I had a mother who read to me.

-- Strickland Gillilan

I hope you dance...

2010-09-13T02:34:00.000-07:00

I've had some thoughts running through my mind lately, which I've sat down to write several times, but they haven't gelled somehow into any sort of cohesive train of thought. This week I've had good discussions with my sister, my husband, my kids. For some reason (maybe it's the result of the first child leaving for college a month ago?), I've been mulling over and reminiscing a bit about where we've been, where we're going (we're on year 24 of Steve's military career), words I wish I'd spoken or left unspoken, deeds done or omitted, what regrets I have, what I don't regret.

Then I heard a song this morning, that I've heard before... "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack. I'm going to put it here to remind me...and you....to endeavor to live with no regrets. It's not easy--almost always has comes with a risk of pain--but it's so worth it.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making

Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance

I hope you dance

I hope you dance

on writing

2010-09-10T02:44:00.000-07:00

I've been writing for some time. Still have yet to make any real money off the gig, but I've been blessed to have various articles published in magazines and newsletters over the past decade. I've written as long as I can remember, whether it was in journals, blogging, or letters. There has always been a compelling need inside me to get the words out somehow. As I'm starting to get a bit more focused about putting more time and serious thought into writing, I've been talking to some author friends that I'm blessed to know, and I've come across some resources that I wanted to share.

Writer's First Aid This site has a ton of resources and encouragement for aspiring writers. I have barely scratched the surface of all that is here and look forward to reading more. Sample: "If your dream is to be a full-time writer someday, you’ll need to develop the habit of writing every day." Simple truth and good encouragement and categories covering everything from beginning through getting published.

This one had some good points about putting in your "apprenticeship", and I would say this applies to so much more than writing--really anything you want to be a success at. "Career Killers"--Skipping the Apprenticeship. You have to be willing to put in the time and develop persistence, even in the face of rejection. It's amazing to read the stories of successful authors who seemingly burst on the scene, only to find out they spent literally years honing their craft before that.

My Word Playground is a fun website that showcases current picture book writers, and gives some fun writing prompts.

This is my friend Pam Calvert's website. She is a published children's book author, and her latest book is Princess Peepers. We were neighbors with Pam and her family in California, and I recently got to spend some time with her again when we were both dropping off our oldest children at the same college! Go to her 'for writers' tab. I especially enjoyed seeing the rejection letters and her sense of humor about them! It's interesting to note that published authors still get rejection letters!

So there you go...we'll see what happens. I am starting an intensive online writing course soon, and I'll recommend it (or not) once I complete that. I know I need some more discipline and experience before I can 'make it', but for now, you'll find me tapping away at my computer, completing my daily exercises. I may share one now and then.
Happy Writing!

Settling in, deployment thoughts, and an apron!

2010-09-08T16:18:00.000-07:00

So, it seems kind of lame to keep blogging about how we're in transition, trying to settle in, etcetc...but it's what our life is right now. We will be in temporary lodging for at least a few more weeks. This is how we're living, for awhile.

One of the things we do when we move (which we do a lot!) is to explore the new area, and purposely get lost because that is the way we've found some of our favorite places in the world (and it also sounds good when I UNintentionally get lost!). Either get in the car and drive around, just looking and absorbing all the new sights and sounds, or go walking.

That's how we come across sights like this:

So we've done lots of walking, because every day it's beautiful weather, and I, for one, am so excited to have beautiful weather every day (sorry, Germany, you just can't compare) that I have a need to be out in it as much as possible.

We've found lots of what Anna calls "climbing trees":

thought shift---I know a lot has been written about the 'post-deployment' transition period that military families go through, and there is probably not much I can add to the discussion. But honestly in many ways, it's just as difficult or even moreso than the actual deployment, as everyone gets used to being back together, and to all the changes that have taken place in each person. And then you feel guilty that it's difficult, because, after all, you are so happy to have the spouse back home safely. And it doesn't matter if you've been through that transition stage multiple times, as we have, it's still a phase that must be gotten through. You think it won't be as bad, because you know it's coming and something of what to expect. So, if I'm talking to another military wife right now, going through the same thing...please, just feel a hug from me, and accept my permission to give it some time, hang in there, and feel what you feel. I promise it will get better. And if you want to talk to someone, you can drop me a line. I'm here.

To end this very disjointed post on a not-so-somber note, looky what I found from a local vendor.

This apron makes me happy, it's sturdy fabric and it has pockets! As someone who is constantly staining my clothing from cooking/baking, I've needed a good apron for awhile, and this one is cute and makes me happy to look at it.

I'm thinking of giving one away here, if there is enough interest. So let me know--made in Hawaii! :)

Blessings!

Labor Day weekend

2010-09-03T23:38:00.000-07:00

The long weekend has already begun for us, with a trip to the beach today for the guys to try surfing. This is another photo from the 'retro' setting on my phone, and while their faces are a bit dark with that setting, I love the look of it. Very vintage-y!
Looking forward to a few more relaxing days...hope you and yours have a great weekend as well!

aloha days

2010-09-02T01:33:00.000-07:00

So I haven't been writing much. It's most definitely a transition time, as we get used to a new location, adjust to Steve being back home from a year's deployment, and missing Matt a TON these first few weeks he's been gone at college. Trying to find that new "normal".

We've spent the past couple of weeks here in an "apartment hotel" on Waikiki. Which has been a ton of fun, and we have loved the views over the water and the access to the beach. We've spent time taking lots of walks, as well as lots of snapshots of Hawaii life. I'm so enthralled with the beautiful flowers and unique plants at every turn.

But we are all kind of "over" the touristy part of it, the crowds, and the living on the 15th floor thing, parking our vehicles in the paid lot down the street and everything else that goes with apartment/city center living. A lot of picking up this small space goes on to keep from living in complete squalor!

We've spent oodles of time in traffic as we find our way around our new home--there is a lot more traffic in Honolulu than I recall from our last visit here in 2004.
And lots of time finding the gyms for Grace's volleyball clinics and tryouts. But she is in heaven with how big volleyball is here.

And still loads of time in and around the water.

We are soaking up the warmth and mild climate. Today we went out on the 'aqua cycle' to commemorate our last day staying in the hotel.

Mostly, I am just so happy to have my sweetie back home, that it doesn't matter where we are, though Hawaii is definitely nice.

Up next....military temporary lodging on base while we wait for our house!
(almost all these photos taken with my phone camera!)

On island time

2010-08-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

First of all, let me say I don't bounce back from jetlag very well! I never really caught up from Germany time, the week we were in the "mainland". Then we flew on to Hawaii, and I am finally feeling awake, 6 days later.

So, there's been a lot of time in the water..

watching of sunsets...

and just plain "hanging out" going on..

In fact, this pretty well sums up our approach to life right now....I'll be back. :)

Here in America

2010-08-10T06:35:00.000-07:00

So begins (or continues?) our weeks of transition. After missing a flight, and being stranded in D.C. for a day, we finally made it to Texas to visit my folks before we head on to Hawaii, the final destination for some of us--and college, the destination for Matt. Don't ask how grumpy everyone was, or how much it was one of those 'Not My Best Moment' types of days. Lack of sleep and stress certainly aren't a good combination for me.

But we are here. And so happy to see my folks. They have given us lots of love and attention, and my Dad waited a whole day for our separate flights to get into Dallas before making the 2+ hour drive to their house (long story--Matt and the dog had to fly separately for us to all get here), then pulled up in a real BUS--a short one, borrowed from the school he runs--to pick us up. That cracked me up...think a Griswold family vacation type vehicle. I will never get that picture of him pulling up in that bus out of my mind! And my mom had pillows in there for all of us, knowing we would all 'crash' on the way home. So thoughtful. They are so good at parenting, and this 41-year-old still needs that at times, I have to admit.

So after a visit to urgent care for Anna, who hurt her knee from a fall on the escalator in the D.C. airport, attempting to adjust to time zone changes--still doing that, and basically being overwhelmed by all the TV-commercials-big vehicles-food-shopping-billboards stimulation, we are HERE. And catching our breath a little. That's where I'll be for a little while...sitting here, catching my breath!

from my journal

2010-08-05T14:38:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned, we are living in temporary lodging right now. We fly out to Texas this weekend. We leave Matt at college in Abilene next week, and then head to Steve's new assignment in Hawaii a couple of days later. I am so happy Steve is home from his deployment, excited about the move to Hawaii...and dreading leaving Matt. I know it is a good and fine thing for him to be ready for this next phase of life, but gosh, I am going to miss him.

Had a vivid dream the other day. The music from the Michael Card album Sleep Sound in Jesus was playing, and I was holding my sweet baby Matthew again. It was so real, because that is something I did on a daily basis his first couple years of life.

Someone gave me that tape at his baby shower and I literally wore it out. The songs were heart-wrenchingly beautiful and I loved that someone had put into words all the feelings I had as a parent. I would sit, rocking him, listening to it, singing to him, watching him. Often, with tears, knowing that his babyhood would pass far too quickly.

For all you are

And all you'll be

For everything you mean to me

Though I don't understand

I know you're from the Father's Hand

How did a 22-year-old first-time mother have enough presence of mind to know how fleeting that time was? I'm not sure, but somehow I did. And so I made my best effort to treasure every moment with that beautiful dark-headed firstborn....that delightful little boy...this fine young man.

Oh, I'm not ready for this. Lord, help me.

Thoughts from a tired old homeschool mom

2010-08-04T02:06:00.000-07:00

(if you're not a homeschooler, this will probably have little interest for you! in fact you might not understand why this is worth discussing at all)

It's that time of year again...when homeschooling families everywhere kick into gear with great ideals, happy thoughts, piles of new books and curriculum, and much enthusiasm.

It's also that time when bloggy moms starting reading posts by other bloggy moms who encourage them to "just wing it!", "give your child a library card and they will learn all they need to know!", and "live your life enthusiastically and your child will want to come along for the ride!" All of which I believe to some extent, but it can also serve to make a homeschool mom feel guilty for needing...curriculum. Or textbooks. Or even a plan. And we've got enough guilt all on our own, don't we?

I'll be honest...when I was younger, had more energy, didn't move as often, and my husband didn't deploy as much as does now, I did have more energy to plan studies, and do all the fun hands-on learning type things. But I find myself in a much different place now, and I can't compare my life to someone else's and feel guilt. (you probably have different life circumstances, but your own list of challenges!)

If, for whatever reason--maybe you simply like things planned out, or you want to think about something else in your life besides homeschooling--please don't feel guilty about using a well-ordered plan. There! You have my permission! Why reinvent the wheel? There are some great companies out there who do the work for you and can give you a well put-together package or even just a pile of nice books. Your kids won't shrivel up and die. In fact, they may welcome the structure and stability of knowing what's expected each day. You will have more time for your own hobbies, interests and perhaps a cup of coffee or maybe even just a warm shower! Or a hands-on supplemental activity or two.

Let's face it, no matter how you slice it, homeschooling is a commitment, especially if you're in it for the long haul. It's time consuming, and some days just plum hard. Do what you need to do to make it as enjoyable and child-friendly as possible, while also keeping your own sanity and don't let anyone else make you feel bad about that.

Then you will likely end up with much more time to live your life enthusiastically. :)

Simple Woman's Daybook

2010-08-02T13:12:00.000-07:00

For Today...

Outside my window...night is falling...lots of dark clouds, too. We've had some rain this week.

I am thinking...how tired I am and ready for the chaos of moving to be over.

I am thankful for... found passports! Inadvertently packed by the movers on Friday...Steve ended up going out to the moving company's warehouse this morning, digging through 2 huge crates of our household goods to find them. My hero!! (batting eyelashes)

From the learning rooms...only planning right now, as the learning rooms are packed up and heading across the Pacific Ocean to Hawaii. Thinking big thoughts about time available vs. funds vs. good intentions vs. good stewardship vs. time available!!! and on and on...

From the kitchen...creamy chicken Alfredo and cheese bread. Everyone needed comfort food after a hard day's cleaning, getting ready for base housing "final out" tomorrow.

I am wearing...ratty old t-shirt and comfy long shorts. (did I mention I was *tired*?)

I am creating...posters of our Rome and London trips on Shutterfly to hang in our new home. Comes together so easy and look stunning!

I am going...to be so sad at the end of this week, saying goodbye to friends. It never gets easier, no matter how many times I do this.

I am reading...Blue Ruin by Grace Livingston Hill (for like the 20th time) One of my very favorites by her.

I am hoping...to have a much less "eventful" day tomorrow (ie no mishaps or lost items)

I am hearing...the boys talking, the door buzzer as the kids' friends come and go--it's their last week together with this sweet group of kids and they are all desperate to spend as much time together as possible.

Around the house...which one? The one here is immaculately clean as we prepare to hand over keys tomorrow to the housing office. The one in Hawaii is not ready for us, so we are about to officially be 'homeless' yet again, military style.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Lunch with friends, dog to vet for his flight health clearance, all the last minute paperwork and packing, THEN! On a plane to Texas this weekend.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...Lil' Miss Abbie..youngest of my friend Kim

Or shall we say, Little Miss Personality. She knows her own mind, this one. And makes me work hard for her affection (and I'm not even quite sure I have it just yet), but it's a price I'm willing to pay for a peek-a-boo smile. In her hand are some white chocolate chips (not a bribe, per se, more a deposit in good faith that I could pick her up a few seconds later).

Sigh...Little ones are wonderful.

For more entries, The Simple Woman's Daybook

See ya, Germany...part 2

2010-07-30T05:24:00.000-07:00

So, wow...I've never done a two-part post before. This is kinda fun! I'm waiting on my movers to come load up the remainder of our household goods, but in the meantime, it's been fun to think about the past couple of years and our experiences here in Germany.

I was sitting at the hairdresser's last week, listening to all the German chatter going on around me, proud of myself that I could pick out words here and there, and it suddenly hit me....we're leaving! In 2 weeks! Hard to believe. We've made so many special friends here (some who've moved on already), and that is always the most difficult part about moving for us, the goodbyes.

I know there is probably more that we'll miss about being in Germany and Europe than things we won't miss, but in the interest of keepin' it real....and to follow-up with my promised note about the long winters (I know you were waiting), I feel I should share both sides, so here we go.

Won't miss: German "customer service"
Wait for it.....
Bwahahahahaha!!!!, that makes me laugh--such an oxymoron! Don't be offended, German people, you've just never gotten the memo that the 'customer is always right'. You can't argue with me!

Will miss: beautiful forests

We have so enjoyed walking the the forest trails, every season.

Won't miss: low-flush toilets and no bathroom vents
(just not even gonna elaborate on that one--I'm pretty sure that is quite self-explanatory)

Will miss: Bavaria

It is gorgeous there (my header photo at the top of this blog was also taken there). Garmisch and the surrounding area is other-wordly in beauty.

Bavaria, with the Schloss Hohenschwangau and Neuschwanstein Castle--the castle that Walt Disney based his "Cinderella castle" on, well... it's just beautiful. Also, you can't beat a place where you can watch the cows going home from the privacy of your own vehicle.

Won't miss: the long loooooong winters
Some people like cold. I like it ok, in moderation, and... in theory. In person, and for long periods of time....not so much. And honestly, it's not even the cold that gets me--we survived North Dakota winters, for goodness' sake, with actual temps of -30 degrees F (no wimpy "windchill factor" in that number). It's more the not-seeing-the-sky-thing for weeks at a time over the long months of winter-- that same grey, drab, leaden sky each day gets dreary. (how many different words for 'dreary' can I use??)

I'm starting to understand the bright home furnishing colors sold locally that make me and Steve laugh when we look at catalogs and go shopping (lime green, bright tangerine oranges and sunny yellows). I guess you've to do something to counteract all that darkness! But not seeing a glimmer of sunlight for such long periods of time really got to me. Having lived in sunny New Mexico, with its gorgeous turquoise skies, for the first 20 years of my life probably factors into this too. I like warmth. And seeing the sky once in awhile.

Will miss: rouladen

The blackout rolling blinds on the outside of windows...and also the windows themselves, which you can pop inward to vent, or open completely.
Not the food....

(http://www.flickr.com/photos/scarygami/4432795805/)

Though I honestly haven't tried that (the food rouladen), so I might love them too, because these look nummy. Knowing me and food, I probably would....ok, now I'm hungry. But I digress..

But the blinds are *awesome*. Make your room go from light to day in an instant, and sleep like a baby!

Won't miss: the lack of hose sprayers on the sinks
I'm all about convenience, especially since I spend so much time at home. I still find myself reaching for the sink sprayer, even after all this time without one.

Will miss: Riesling Wine

It's a sweet white wine. So delish...we live right by the Mosel valley where they produce most of the Riesling in the world, and we get it so cheap here. I feel spoiled to be able to walk into a store and grab a bottle for less than 5 euros. If you like wine, and you haven't tried this one...just DO. Trust me on that one.

Won't miss: tiny everything...tiny cars, tiny narrow roads, tiny parking spots

(takara5165.blogspot.com)

I have learned to maneuver with the best of them, but I look forward to driving again on "normal" sized roads, and parking in spots I don't have to make a 9-point turn to fit into!!

And don't get me started on the tiny stoves and tiny ovens. It's as if they were made for elves. Try cooking a Thanksgiving dinner in this. Shoot...even dinners for a family of 6 on a regular basis. Look, just look how small that door is!

It's wide enough to fit ONE 9x13"pan...but then, they are cooking for their tiny German families, so it probably works out just fine for them. I like the convection oven aspect of it, but the smallness of it hinders my culinary adventures.

The burners are tiny too..I have large pans I simply couldn't get heated up with the size difference. As someone who loves to cook, this has been a bit difficult. I'm looking forward to enjoying being in the kitchen again. :) For better or worse, neither Steve nor I are big fans of German appliances or home deco.

Will miss: Christkindlmarkt, or the Christmas markets which run from the end of November to the end of December

(httpwww.flickr.comphotosrene-germany2126809489sizesm)

An amazing, fun experience. Germans know how to do Christmas right, I'll say. Simply lovely-- many times set up in the village square like this one, all lit up with Christmas lights, vendors selling gifts, foods, crafts...and you gotta try the gluhwein (hot mulled wine). They even make a non-alcoholic one for the kinder. I just got a rush of memory smells, just thinking about the Christmas markets.

And I think I will leave this post on a 'like'...it's always good to end on a positive note, ja?

"I need you"

2010-07-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

Just saw this post, "I Need You" linked from the military spouse site, SpouseBuzz.

We tend to see more writing from military spouses (like me), so it's always good to hear what the active duty member is feeling before-during-after deployment. This one will give you some insight.
A beautiful post, and I'll be praying for his safe return and his family as well.

See ya, Germany...part 1

2010-07-28T01:29:00.000-07:00

We leave Germany in a week and a half...it's been a relatively short tour for us--only 2 years. Steve was only here for about a year of that time, which I'm sure colored my view of our time here in many ways. because I went through so much of it alone. We know loads of people who have been here much longer, who likely have much different opinions of living here. And we lived on base. Which ended up being a blessing as Steve was deployed for the entire second year. But I know we didn't experience village living like other friends have. Which is actually fine by me, after hearing some of the tales of landlords and issues with utilities. :)

But I was thinking of our time here, and things that we will miss...and things that we won't miss quite so much. While thinking about this, I'm quite sure that everything I'll miss is not food-related. I hope. Let's see....

Leaving Germany...things we loved and things we didn't love as much:

Wiener schnitzel--yum yum. It's pork (traditionally veal), pounded flat, breaded and fried. (how could that be bad??) Trust me, it's delicious. I love it with spaetzle, the german noodles. My kids like it with pommes frites (fries). Also, my favorite is jagerschnitzel, the 'hunter style' with mushroom sauce. The point is something to sop up the gravy. Ok, now I'm hungry...adding to list that we need schnitzel one more time before we leave...

Brotchen---(and I can't figure out how to put the little german umlaut above these words--I know they belong there)...ok this is food again, seeing a theme. We did enjoy the bakeries...loved walking in and smelling all the fresh bread, even the little wax bags they put your rolls and bread in to take home. These are crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. Good for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Travel--I've talked a lot about travel already on my blog, so I won't go into it too much...we've loved that aspect of our European adventure, seeing places we've only read about. How amazing it was to stand in the Sistine Chapel in Rome, visit Paris, London, and so many other places. We've covered a lot of ground in 2 years, not just as a family, but the kids taking trips with groups on their own, and Steve's TDYs....that was a wonderful opportunity. At last count, we managed to visit at least 13 other countries altogether during our time here, as well as traveling within Germany itself.

Culture--this could fall into things I enjoyed, and things I didn't so much....yes, it's different. No, it's not 'dumb' just because it's not American. It's just...different. A different mindset about things--very "rules oriented" and you don't question someone 'in charge', whether that person is a doctor, teacher, or your hairdresser. The attitude is that they know best, and why do you need everything explained anyway?? (my girlfriends that have come out of the hairdresser with 6 inches cut off instead of the 'trim' they asked for will understand that!) I'm sure we drive them crazy with all our talky-talk.

It also explains why homeschooling is outlawed for German citizens, something I can't quite wrap my brain around still. We are so used to our freedoms, especially of choice. But it's not something they can relate to, it goes against the cultural mindset, so they don't do it.

I'm not trying to be stereotypical--for instance, I hate it when Europeans say that all Americans are fat and loud--but it's just kind of an overarching attitude I've noticed. As this website notes, Germans "prefer minor rules that regulate daily life", such as when to sweep the walk, make noise, wash their car, shovel snow, how to deal with trash etcetc....most Americans would chafe at this kind of structure. It does make for a cleaner environment and lovely little villages though. The other funny thing is that they like to 'get after' you if you aren't doing things according to "the rules". But you've never lived until you've been scolded in German by a little old lady for standing in the wrong line or washing your car at home! (BIG no-no)
They also are very good about following driving rules...which I like. After visiting Italy, with its craziness on the roads there and lack of lanes (cars,mopeds, bikes just taking any available spot), we all breathed a sigh of relief at getting back to Germany and the orderliness of the traffic. That is probably going to drive me nuts once we're back in the US. You never have to worry if someone is going to just pull in front of you here.

They are also very fond of their pets, but their children you won't see much out in restaurants and such. It's a joke that Germans like their pets better than their kids! (I've even heard them say it!) We have gotten quite the stares, toting our 4 kids around with us everyplace we go! It really put me off when we first got here, but now we're used to it. I'm sure they chalk it up to us being American.

Manners--Another thing I like is that they tend to greet people when passing, entering or leaving a waiting room, just a hello, good day, or goodbye. It's nice to be acknowledged, and they like when you do it too. I think it's funny that Americans will walk right by each other and pretend not to notice each other. As someone who said 'hello' to everyone already, I liked this!

Ok, I have to wrap this up now....I'll add more thoughts later, but for now, I have to move my children to the temporary lodging facility. Steve is TDY and will be back home in a few days to help--yeah!

Next installment: the Long Winter.

Photos:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Wiener-Schnitzel02.jpg
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Korb_mit_Br%C3%B6tchen_.JPG

on living out of a suitcase

2010-07-27T06:48:00.000-07:00

I'm contemplating my belongings, in hopes of determining what I could possibly need to live on for the next few months. You see, we likely won't be moving into our house at the new base until October or so, with a trip to Texas thrown in between here and there for good measure.

We've lived out of our suitcases many times before; that's kind of a given with military moves. The longest span without our household goods was for nearly five months, when we moved from Guam to North Dakota. We were waiting 'a few weeks' for the new base housing to be completed while we lived in temporary lodging...which took much longer than a few weeks! It wasn't all bad though. I found out we need much less to live on than we usually think. I'm trying to remember that right now, as I consider my two suitcases. One article I read recently said to pack 3 bottoms, 4-7 tops, 2 pairs of shoes and a few other things for a trip, whether it's 1 week or 6 months (the idea being you have access to a laundry, of course!). I'm not sure I can go quite that minimalist, but I am keeping it in mind. Since we are moving to Hawaii, I'll add a bathing suit and flip-flops to the list.

As far as household items go, I tend to also overestimate the amount of 'stuff' I need for daily life---stuff that ends up hindering, rather than helping. One unforeseen benefit that has coming from moving so often is that I've had to learn to deny my natural hoarding tendencies. The items we end up moving from household to household (and we've had 5 'households' in the past five years alone due to military housing-directed moves), along with the neccessities of daily life are things that I truly value. Family antiques, handwritten treasures from my children, photo-filled scrapbooks, an album made by my grandmother's hands, gifts that Steve has brought from his travels, and unique things collected from the Pacific to Europe make the list. Each item has some meaning attached to it, some known only to our family.

Easier to leave behind are what one would consider junk...things that are easily replaced or that are used up, worn and should be thrown out altogether. Things that hinder, rather than help.

Which led me to consider...how much "junk", spiritually speaking, do I insist on dragging around? What are the useless items that I spend precious time on...pulling them out, cleaning them off, reorganizing them into similar piles, folding them carefully and placing them back in their special spot in my soul? Things that don't warrant such consideration or time spent--regrets, bitterness, preconceived notions, wrong judgments....things that only hinder, never help.

How much lighter would that load be if I took that junk to the dump and left it there? How much better to replace that old baggage with forgiveness, sympathy, understanding, and a willingness to forget?

"....let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." (Heb. 12:1)

I'm thinking one can learn a lot from moving.

On blogging...and thank you for your patience

2010-07-24T18:27:00.001-07:00

SO....I am in the process of moving the few posts I wrote on Typepad back here to Blogger. In thinking about blogging, why I blog, etcetc, I came to several conclusions. One was that I had 2 blogs under Blogger already (one since 2005) and it is much easier to merge two blogs here than try to move them both to Typepad. Also, back when I started blogging, I began on Homeschool Blogger, which is now under Wordpress. Again, it was much easier to merge those files here. I've been busy doing that, plus trying to make sure posts have proper labels, categories are merged without double posts, put all this dadgum stuff in one place already, blahblahblah...it's still a work in progress, so bear with me. Oh, and now that I've got all the new doohickeys figured out on Blogger, it really is as user-friendly as Typepad, plus it's familiar. OH....and it's free.

Like I said, I've been blogging since 2004 or so. It began as a way to connect with other homeschoolers, to keep my family updated as we've moved around the world, and has evolved since then. There are hundreds of posts, once I get this all combined, and I daresay not a soul in the world will likely want to look through even a portion of them unless you're my mom. hi mom Apparently I have a lot of words to share, big surprise. If any one thought I've had can help a single person, make someone think or laugh, then it's worth it. I'd also like all this writing to be somewhat organized for my children to have one day.

This past year has been the quietest one for me, blog- and writing-wise. It was honestly one of the most challenging years of my life. Steve was deployed for a year in Afghanistan, the kids and I living in Europe after much thought and prayer about what was the best thing to do for their sakes. (the best thing was to leave their lives as 'normal' as possible, and not uproot them again) At any rate, I simply couldn't--or wouldn't---spend much time dwelling on or writing about what was many days just 'slogging through' and was quite honestly not a lot of fun at times. I do feel as if I've come out of a long, dark tunnel...my thoughts are clearer, I'm a little more rested, and hopefully I can reconnect with some old friends and bloggy buddies again.

Have to admit, I'm a bit sheepish though. Here I thought I was so tech-savvy, importing and publishing all those old posts. Little did I know, all those old posts were re-publishing and re-publishing through my Facebook feed. Crud. I so apologize to anyone whose FB 'home page' was filled with my drivel. So sorry about that!

Flashback Friday--remembering Guam

2010-07-23T16:02:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to participate in this "flashback"! As I've been getting used to a new laptop, I've also been trying to organize files and files and FILES of photos. I came across this one a few weeks ago, and my heart just went, "awwwww!"

I so remember this day. We were stationed in Guam from '02-04, and this was our favorite beach to visit as a family--Haputo Beach. It seriously looks like a deserted lagoon from Gilligan's Island, and takes quite a hike through the jungle to reach--if you're hiking with 4 little kids, some of whom need piggybacks at the steep spots, it's a very long hike. By the time you get there, you're exhausted, sweaty, hot, and ready for that crystal clear water. People may or may not have been whining by the end of the hike on this day.

And I may or may not be included in that group of "people".

My kids are like any kids, and spent loads of time collecting shells and hermit crabs when we visited the beach. Little Anna , about 4 years old, was very busy digging around in the sand, and I was standing and looking out over the water with my camera in hand. I heard a little voice behind me say,

"Mommy, wook at my wips!"

I turned around and caught sight of this:

Funny girl. That's a big ol' white shell, if you can't tell. She still makes me laugh! And look at that little teeny tanned thang!

Here are some other photos of Haputo Beach itself, now that I'm remembering. It's hard to believe that it's been 6 years since we lived there. What a beautiful area.... while it was difficult being stationed so far away from our family, and we went through earthquakes as well as several typhoons (hurricanes), we definitely also were blessed with some amazing experiences, and got to see some beautiful sights. Enjoy! And why not try your own Flashback Friday at Christopher and Tia's ? I'd love to see it--leave me a comment if you do!

view of Haputo Beach

The brave hikers, ready to call it a day already, before the swim. They look so little here!

Are you kidding me??

2010-07-22T16:41:00.000-07:00

Anna in Prague

So... just when I'm thinking I'm done done DONE with Blogger, and I'm willing to pay for Typepad, and I'm in the midst of moving everything over ...I realize Blogger has a new post editing system (well, to me anyway, maybe it's been there awhile and I simply didn't notice!). The posting photos and formatting was my beef in the first place with Blogger. (taking a coon's age to load a few photos) All righty, then....I could kick myself....guess I will play around here again and make a decision at some point. AGH!

Thoughts to live by

2010-07-22T04:07:00.000-07:00

(attributed to Mother Teresa)

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-21T00:49:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday photo....from inside Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris last month. (nearly successful on the 'wordless' part!)

little happenings and thoughts from my middle aged life

2010-07-20T05:57:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the gym. Again. I spend a lot of time there these days. *sigh*

I am pressing on, in spite of my firm belief--reinforced by the presence of the inescapable gym mirrors--that I should look way better than this for all the work I've been doing these past months. It ain't no fun getting older. My body doesn't react to exercise the way it did 15- 20 years ago, when I could whip things into shape in a matter of weeks. At this age, my body tends to mumble and complain back at me with aches and pains, while wondering if watching So You Think You Can Dance? on tv isn't exercise enough.

While Steve was deployed this past year, I had great hopes of losing 25 lbs, scrapbooking an album for Matt's homeschooling years for his graduation, and many other highly unrealistic projects. I'm not sure why I ever EVER think I'll have 'extra time' while he's deployed to do more than normal. That is crazy. I'm always lucky to just keep the everyday stuff together with homeschooling and toting around 4 kids, much less add anything extra.

SO...I should be proud that I did manage to shed 15 lbs over the course of about 9 months...which is danged slow, if anyone is counting. And I've apparently have also mastered the fine art of maintaining those 15, without losing a single ounce more. No matter what I do. But, baby, I can maintain.

Perhaps if I adopted a diet of lettuce cups and ice chips, I could break through this plateau. But I've hit an age where I'm just not willing to suffer that much. So to the gym I go.

completely unrelated and possibly as uninteresting as the above to anyone else besides me:

My youngest is going to soccer camp this week. I thought I'd stop by and watch for a bit on my way home from the gym this morning. I couldn't find her in the mass of kids running around, and sat and watched for awhile.

"Where is she?" I wondered.

"Hmmm...is that her?" my son pointed....to a little girl kicking a soccer ball... followed by a string of adoring boys.

Oh, my. They would eagerly assist her up if she fell down, retrieve her soccer ball for her, and basically followed her around like adoring puppies. Just...wow. I'm both dismayed and I'll admit, a weensy bit proud. But definitely not ready for this! Those boys better watch it, because this is how I still think of her:

And I'm not nearly as nice as I look. :)

Simple Woman's Daybook

2010-07-19T06:07:00.000-07:00

I haven't done one of these entries in a long time...making myself sit down and think out loud real quick today. More entries at Peggy's.

Outside my window...the sound of lawn sprinklers, joggers going past on the trail behind my house, birds singing in the forest behind that. It's a beautiful sunny day, and not too hot today.

I am thinking... of my "to-do" list. We only have a few weeks left in Germany before we move to Hawaii, and there is a lot that needs to happen between now and then. See me setting aside those thoughts to mess around on my blog and Facebook. :) This is our 9th military assignment, and we haven't lived anyplace longer than 2 years in over a decade. Wow. I'm tired.

I am wearing... navy capris, aqua patterned tee, Old Navy flip flops, my hair in a loose bun. I'm sorting through papers and clothing to see what needs to go into our final pack-out or luggage for next week and need that mass of hair out of my face.

I am thankful for...time with forever friend Kim. Our time here in Germany is overlapping by a couple of months with theirs, and that is a gift. We've known each other for 17 years now, have seen some of each other's babies born, and have been through lots of life together. Had too much fun drinking coffee, shopping, eating chocolate, and gabbing last night!

I am remembering...the feel of my Grandma's house. Always warm and welcoming, eclectic with lots of reminders of their travels and life. Interesting always, and full of people. It is what I aspire to have our home like. I must be remembering childhood memories because my own household is in upheaval.

I am creating.... a giant mess in my room. (see the 'sorting' comment above) I think it has to get worse before it gets better, unfortunately.

....and a new blog....thinking of moving over to Typepad after many frustrations with Blogger and how tedious it is to upload photos to posts here. Please come visit, and feel free to add me if you are on Typepad too!

From the kitchen....leftover pizza from last night. It's yummy. I'm not cooking today--just keepin' it real.

I am hoping...for Steve's safe travels. He's only been home a couple of weeks from the long deployment, and is already off on a TDY to the U.S. (TDY is military speak for Temporary Duty). Missing him. I was kinda used to having him back home.

From the learning rooms...books are being boxed up, priorities made as to what is important to keep out for the next couple of months. Maybe just a library card?

I am reading...Life Beautiful magazine, good recommend, Kim!

A picture thought I am sharing....Matt's last baseball game as a high schooler...*sniff, sniff*...the end of an era.

Ok, so here we go

2010-07-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, if I can figure out a way to post photos easily, move all my content from Blogger, and actually get people to realize where I am now...then I might just talk myself into moving to Typepad...so bear with me as I try a few test posts, see how easy it easy to navigate and all that. This is our latest birthday kid. Happy 17th, Gabe!

Blogger is free, but the last time I wrote a post, it took me an hour to upload 5 photos and try to get the text straight. Maddening!

Hmm...that was easy. Please, sir, I want some more.

This is Anna and I in Paris last month...well, this was relatively painless. Some people think Typepad is better. I'll play around with it for a few days and see what I think.

Beauty around us

2010-07-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

"We look for visions of heaven, and we never dream that all the time God is in the commonplace things and people around us."
~Oswald Chambers

I'm sitting here listening to the church bells ringing from a nearby German village. I do love that sound and will miss hearing it when we move. There is something so constant, calming, and beautiful about the ringing of those bells.

Our family is most definitely again in a state of 'transition'. Steve just returned from a year-long deployment (thank you, Lord). Our household goods were packed 2 months ago, our vehicle has been shipped, and we will be leaving for our move to Hawaii next month, stopping in the U.S. to visit family and take our oldest son to college. Turns out we likely won't get into our house there until late fall, so the transitions and nomadic lifestyle will be ongoing for the foreseeable future. I am asking God to give me the eyes and the heart to appreciate the little blessings around me, rather than focusing on all the upheaval that seems to be a constant in my life. I asked Steve the other day, 'when will get back to normal?' And we both laughed because I'm not even sure how we would define 'normal'.

This is a true saying, though: I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. I don't think it's trite to say that people and relationships are what matter most.

Some of our everyday moments from the past few weeks:

The girls and I at nearby Burg Lichtenberg, or the castle near Kusel

The guys playing "skittles poker"

Anna at a softball game, after getting a hit. I absolutely love her delighted expression here--unbridled joy!

Grace playing with her Daddy again...words can't express how grateful we are to have him back home safely.

Me and my "Little Ms. Thang" last month in Paris

What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories. ~George Eliot

Reintegration, post-deployment, Spouse Buzz...

2010-07-13T09:17:00.001-07:00

So there is a term for that post-deployment period..."re-integration", where everyone is getting used to being back together again. As much as you missed and love each other, there are always some growing pains as you get back to a new 'normal'. Everyone has changed--no matter how many times you've been through it, at the end of each deployment, you're a different person, and so is your spouse. So, the key is to adjust and adapt and be ok with the new yous. I imagine everyone experiences this differently.

I found some good stuff I'd like to pass along...Spouse Buzz is a great site that I discovered over the past few months. Lots to read there. I appreciated reading other military spouses voicing the same thoughts/fears I experienced over the course of this past year... for instance, "anticipatory grief." If you've felt it, you'll know exactly what I mean. There's lots to read there, as well as links to blogs from other mil. spouses. Here is another good post about homecomings. This one was written by a soldier on returning home from deployment. It's always good to see things from the other person's point of view.

If I could give any advice regarding deployments, it would be to have as much patience, love, and generosity as you can on the homecoming. Try to walk a mile in their shoes, so to speak, and try to imagine how you would feel if you changed places. Faith behind all of that is important to me as well. Heck, it sounds like a good recipe for marriage overall, doesn't it? :)

After the rain...

2010-07-12T13:41:00.001-07:00

We've had some record-breaking heat in this part of the world over the past several weeks. The temps even went over 100 at least one day--and remember, here in Germany, we have no such thing as air conditioning. Tonight, we had a nice little cool-down, and a rainshower. The air feels wonderfully cool, and after the rain stopped, I stepped outside for a moment and spied a big beautiful rainbow. Then a double rainbow appeared. Such a nice little reminder of God's mercies!

17

2010-07-12T02:52:00.003-07:00

Happy Birthday, to my "angel baby", Gabriel. Can't believe you're 17!

A photo or few from our Rome trip

2010-07-10T17:24:00.000-07:00

So, I've had some time this week to sit and update my blog (which it sorely needed!) and thought I would write a post and share photos from last year's Rome trip...which got so long-winded that even *I* couldn't have made it through the whole thing without a gallon of ice cream to numb the pain. So I am sparing you and will 'sum up' instead.

It was an amazing trip...but we took a lot of photos. Hundreds. Of. Photos. So looking through a post like that would be like looking at slides of someone else's vacation. (If you know what I mean by that, then you lived through the 70's too)

So here are just a few, from our amazing Roman Holiday last year before Steve deployed. A couple of the photos are actually from a side trip we took out to Pompeii.. An interesting thing pointed out to us by our tour guide--Matthew is standing on a 'speed bump'. You can see the ruts where the cart wheels could fit through. Fun fact: even ancient people riding in carts had to deal with speed bumps. Who knew?? That and many other things suddenly made me remember that real people lived there.

Another is a shot of us all eating yummy crispy thin-crusted Italian pizza. Cracker-thin. And another of the kids by the Mediterranean Sea. Anna is standing by Michelangelo's statue of Moses (another fun fact is that he has 'horns' symbolizing rays of light, or wisdom, depending on who's explaining it), and my kiddos by the Colosseum.. also some of the 'gladiators' who hang around outside the Colosseum to take photos with tourists. Then one of me and Steve at the end of a long, sweaty day hoofing it around Rome. (which is still like a dream, and I can't believe we got to go there!)

Oh and PS..Italian people--at least where we were--seemed very thin. And the girls and ladies wore cute colorful cotton skirts and dresses, which inspired my oldest daughter. (we discovered personally that said skirts and dresses are way cooler than a pair of denim shorts in that heat and humidity, no contest) Also, there is a lot of smoking going on there in Italy. Apparently they didn't get the memo. Which probably helps explains the thinness.

There was so much going on there in Rome, we hardly knew where to look; it was such a feast for the eyes! Life everywhere! Ancient Roman walls and ruins, graffiti, tons of interesting people walking around, gelato to be had on every corner, homeless people begging, St. Peter's Basilica and all the other monuments. Very vibrant, extraordinarily interesting, and yes I would go back in a moment!

Homeschooling High School

2010-07-07T12:50:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: this was written in response to some questions posed to me recently. I don’t claim to be an expert, so take the following for what it’s worth!

Our oldest child, Matt, graduated this year. We also have three younger children who will be going into 12th, 9th and 7th grades. I don’t pretend to know everything about homeschooling high school, but I am often asked what we did/what we used/how we did it. I hope some of what I’ve learned over the past years can help someone else.

I will say this…the methods that worked for us won’t necessarily work for you. Also, our family circumstances are unique to us…just as yours are unique as well. So always keep that in mind. What worked for me may drive you crazy and vice versa.

So I’m not going to give much advice on specific curriculum other than a few favorites, since honestly, that is probably the least important factor contributing to success, in my opinion. Ok…other than Teaching Textbooks for math. That literally changed our lives for high school math!

Some of our other favorites included Sonlight Curriculum's reading lists (no matter how many times we've tried, we've just never been able to make it all the way through one of their giant teaching manuals!), BJU Press history books, and Apologia science books. Matt also liked the A Beka Government, Economics, and Consumer Math texts. Very good for an independent student to work through.

Also, if your children are college-bound, be sure to check with the colleges they are interested in attending for high school course requirements. HSLDA also has a good example for vocational or college-bound courses.

Other than that, I’ll say key ingredients were flexibility and discipline. Which sounds counter-intuitive, but follow me here.

Flexibility: During Matt’s high school years we moved 3 times due to military assignments (two states and one overseas move), I went through 4 surgeries, and his dad deployed to the Middle East twice, with a year-long deployment to Afghanistan over his entire senior year. We had to ‘bend lest we break’ in so many areas of life, not just homeschooling.

But when I say ‘flexibility’, I am not only talking about attitude, but also flexibility in method by letting go of preconceived notions of what we consider to be best. We can’t always know ahead of time what our situation will be. Part of Matt’s freshman year was spent doing an independent study program through a local school (he met with a teacher once a week and did his work at home) so he could be eligible to play high school sports. It’s what we had to do to fulfill academic requirements in that particular state for sports eligibility, because as a talented athlete, we felt he deserved the opportunity to compete. He did his work at home, but I wasn’t responsible for grading/records. (which, let me say, was a beautiful thing at the time! And also gave me new perspective on what to require from him)

When we moved to Germany, we re-evaluated the options and chose to continue homeschooling. Over the years, we have really enjoyed the extra time with our kids, opportunities for travel, and the ability to direct their education and incorporate our faith into their studies. We weren’t ready to give that up. DODDS (Dept of Defense Dependent schools) allows homeschoolers to take as many/few high school courses as they want (dual enroll), or only participate in sports for the school if they desire. Matt was able to play varsity baseball, and it was a great opportunity for him. So for us, we needed to be flexible and open to various options as we moved several times, obviously talking about and praying through all the choices available. I know many homeschoolers don’t consider any interaction with public schools as an option, but it worked well for us.

Also, with all the big life upheavals constantly going on (which to us, *is* normal life—things always changing), we needed some flexibility with deadlines, school days off or on, traveling when Steve could be here, etc. So something like a structured correspondence school with strict deadlines would not have worked well in our situation. For instance, we had to readjust some of Matt's assignments when Steve’s leave was changed at the last minute, or put things off when I unexpectedly had surgery.

Discipline: It’s easy to continually make excuses when you’re going through a difficult spell. As I look over the past four years, I can see we could have easily ended up completing no school at all if we had waited for circumstances to be ‘perfect’. I think that is true for anyone with normal life issues, not just our family. The 'tyranny of the urgent', ‘path of least resistance’ and all that. So we did try to continually make progress, to keep moving forward, sometimes working at odd hours in the evenings or weekends if we needed to make up work. Side note: we are not perfect, by any means…I do have teenagers who would rather sleep late than get up in the mornings, and I have to remind them of work and chores that need attention. The "ice cubes of happiness" were used many mornings on boys who would rather sleep than get up! :)

Another area of discipline...I think it is imperative to keep very good records, if you have decided to design your own course of study and keep grades and transcripts. When I registered Matt for the NCAA Eligibility Center for college sports, they required a list of every textbook he used in high school. This would have been difficult to recreate if I hadn’t kept relatively good records. (Another note: NCAA has part of their website devoted to the homeschool athlete which is very helpful.)

For college applications, I used Donna Young’s guidelines for calculating grades and creating a transcript. What a wealth of information on her site! Matt applied to several colleges, both state and private, and I’m proud to say that his transcript was accepted at each one. Be sure to pay attention to ‘quality points’ and credits and how to calculate GPA. She does a great job of explaining this.

The last thing I would mention, discipline-wise, is college entrance testing (ACT/SAT). Please make this a priority if you have a child wanting to further their education after high school! This is needed for college entrance and scholarships. Matt was offered scholarships at each college he applied to, simply based on his ACT/SAT scores. Some kids do better at one test than the other, so have them take both. Also, they can take each test as many times as they like, and the best score counts. Also be sure to have them take the PSAT their junior year, as this is the year they can qualify for National Merit Finalists. It goes without saying, check your state regulations and also comply with their testing and other requirements.

Back to ACT/SAT—be proactive about this…call your local high school’s guidance office well ahead of time (summer before the school year) for test dates, or just register online. One of my pet peeves through the past years has been seeing frantic emails come across homeschooling email lists wondering how to test?? Who to call?? Or recounting a rude interaction with school officials over it, demanding information NOW when deadlines have already passed. It makes me cringe. It is not up to school officials to seek you out for testing, and honestly it’s not their problem if you missed a test date. If you are taking responsibility for homeschooling high school, you need to research ahead of time, know what is required for your child’s goals and then find out how to do it. Be proactive. When I wasn’t quite sure about where to go for testing, I simply walked into the high school’s guidance office and asked some polite questions, and they were quite helpful and gave me a packet of information to take with me. I had no issues whatsoever. There is no need to take a defensive stance! My Daddy always said, “you gather more flies with honey than vinegar.”

Well, I’m sure there’s more, but that’s all I can think of for now. I welcome any feedback, questions, or stories of your homeschool-high school experiences! And remember….these years go by too quickly. If there’s one thing I could leave you with, it’s to enjoy these years with your teens and remember to just have fun too. We still read books together, watched old movies, made music together (guitar, piano, singing, drums!), went on bike rides, and played card games. Be sure to make some fun family memories outside of school time. I certainly wish that I could have slowed down time. Teens are so much fun to talk to and be with. To see their passion and zest for life helps me keep perspective. They keep us young!!

Be blessed!

Deployment year-in-review

2010-07-04T17:44:00.000-07:00

I'm a terrible blogger, apparently. Bad, bad, bad. How does one consider oneself a blogger when they've blogged maybe 3 times in the past 6 months? Well, bear with me. It's always surprising to me to hear from/see someone I haven't heard from/seen in months, only to have them ask me why I haven't updated my blog. Ha! So I guess someone is reading the few things I put out there, though like the Amy Adams character in Julie & Julia, it would sometimes seem that I am sending them out so they can just disappear into a vacuum. Ah well, like her, I can also say, "I have thoughts! I can write!" or something like that...you get the point.

So, after a long LONG year deployed, my sweetie is HOME! I didn't realize the burden and weight I felt this entire time, till suddenly like magic, it disappeared when I realized he was back home for good. Or that one of the sweetest sounds in the whole wide world is hearing him softly snoring.

I was telling a friend recently that I wasn't really sure what the lesson was that I was supposed to *get* over this past year. Surely God was trying to teach me something..I don't believe hardship is ever wasted. At that moment, I couldn't understand any of it (not just another deployment, but ongoing health issues, the unexpected death of a dear friend over the past months) It may sound simple, but I do believe it is this: treasuring every moment. There is never a guarantee of another single day. Live each day the best you can and squeeze all the life out of it that you can get. Don't take your loved ones for granted. Love them. Thank God for all the blessings, big and small.

We are still in Europe--about to move to the Pacific (Hawaii, here we come!!), and have tried to take advantage of living here as much as we can. Travels this past year have included Switzerland, another trip to Paris...one boy went to baseball camp in Italy, the other on a retreat to Greece..my girls just returned last week from a missions trip to Poland. (is this really our life?? Seems unreal at times) We also went back home to Texas for several weeks over Christmas. Add in our oldest son's senior year, and it has truly been a crazy busy year.

I've enjoyed some writing from other military wives, their thoughts on deployments, moving, etc...check it out. It's always good to know you're not alone.

When I look back over this year, I know it was a time of stretching...painful growth in many ways, unexpected ways. But there were also unexpected blessings...sometimes the people you think will check on you are not the ones who do so. But on the flip side, others come out of the woodwork to lend a hand and or say a kind word. "There is no desolation without consolation."

Another unexpected blessing was having one of my very best long-term friends move here recently. Our time in Germany has overlapped a bit. It's been fun having face-to-face friend time again after all these years!

I am making myself the promise to try to do better about writing more often and updating. I used to write quite a bit, as I had a few writing deadlines for newsletters and magazines that kept me motivated. I think writing is a lot like other skills, the more you do it, well....the more you do it.

Be blessed!

Some photos from our recent Paris trip--the girls by Napoleon's Tomb, Notre Dame Cathedral. The top photo is the sunset over Notre Dame.

I'm a human being, not a human doing

2010-05-19T01:41:00.000-07:00

Some things I've been thinking about, for various reasons...

"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." (Theodore Rubin)

"When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail." (Abraham Maslow)

"Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles, they toughen and make strong." (Norman Vincent Peale)

and...."Life IS pain, Princess! Anyone who tries to tell you differently is selling something." (Wesley from Princess Bride)

We're in the midst of watching our house get packed up--again, our 5th move in as many years, don't even ask me how many total--and as a rule, other things will go wrong or need attention while you are already dealing with the one big thing you had geared up for.

So... I'm taking a breath, stepping back, and remembering I don't have to do it all or solve everything today. Letting it unfold. Remembering I'm a human being, not only a human "doing".
Life is good!

Thoughts from a "Waiting Warrior"

2010-03-16T15:28:00.001-07:00

"They also serve who only stand and wait". ~John Milton

Sometimes I'm not sure just how much to share about our life while Steve is deployed. For one, I don't like whiners, and I don't like coming across like I'm whining. But the waiting for a deployed loved one, and struggles that go along with waiting, are a very big part of our lives and I can't pretend they're not.

This is our third go-around with deployments, but it's by far the longest for us (a year). I've noticed that some people seem to not know what to do/what is appropriate but truly do want to help in whatever way they can, so I thought I'd list out a few thoughts if you have a friend or family member whose spouse is deployed. Please just take it as my personal thoughts as a 21+ year military spouse.

Regardless of the length of the deployment, don't forget about us. It doesn't get easier, no matter how many times we've been through it or how capable we may seem.

Send a note, or just call to say you're thinking about us. Leave a message if we don't answer. Just let us know we haven't been forgotten. It doesn't have to be anything big.

But if you want to do something bigger, drop off a casserole or cookies, something low-pressure. Offer to take small children out for a fun afternoon. We're not only single parents, but we may be living somewhere unfamiliar, far from family help. Add to that the constant worry that goes along with having a spouse deployed in a dangerous location, and the stress level can be nearly unbearable at times. It's exhausting, and sometimes we just need a break. It may seem like a small thing to you, but trust me, we will never forget your kindness.

Please don't compare your spouses' business trips to our spouse being off to war. We know you mean well, and you're trying to relate, but the only similar thing is the separation. You can only imagine the undercurrent of fear we live with until our loved one is back home safe and sound, how much we try to ignore the news because we're afraid to see our spouses' location suddenly mentioned, or the terrible thoughts that haunt us at 2 a.m., or the tears our kids (and we) cry because they're terrified Daddy's not coming home this time.

Be respectful if we seem to withdraw a bit during this time. It's a season of waiting for us, and normal things can seem trivial in comparison. We just simply may not be up for that 'ladies' night out' you're insisting on. It's hard to go kick up your heels when you can't forget that your spouse is sleeping in a tent or worse. We may feel guilty having fun sometimes. Try to understand that.

And lastly...be open to letting us talk. But don't be offended if we don't. Sometimes it's scary to put into words what we're feeling, and that's the only way we can cope with this. It's not personal. Keeping up a tough front may be all that prevents us from collapsing into a million pieces when someone simply asks kindly, "How are you doing?" We are doing what we have to do to get through this and not go insane in the process. (and sometimes that involves collapsing in a million pieces!!)

Take the above for what it's worth, and please don't be offended by my candor. Everyone handles deployment differently--these are simply my thoughts from my own personal experience, and observations after talking with other deployed spouses.

My heart is with all you other Waiting Warriors out there....God bless you all.

A funny lady

2010-02-25T13:54:00.000-08:00

This made laugh a long time...I can definitely relate!
How Domino's Pizza Saved My Marriage

I have an understanding, patient husband like this too, and I can say that has been key to our homeschooling these past 15+ years and 21 years of marriage. Sometimes you gotta know when to just order pizza. ;)

(caveat: definitely not endorsing all the posts/writers on this blog! Be choosy)